I never knew what to expect with planning a wedding. i knew it would be stressful AT times and that eventually things would come together. I always had a warm fuzzy feeling that people would come together to help plan it, to help make the day perfect - more specifically your closest friends and family. why is that so not the case for my wedding. it seems like i am pulling teeth to get my friends to even cooperate. i have one friend that i can truly count on for the wedding and she has truly stepped up to the plate to get things done. she really has made a difference in my stress level. but the others...what the hell is wrong with you guys? i know you have your own individual lives to live, well newsflash to ya'll I DO TOO! so far, janice and i have been going to the extreme by buying people's shoes for them and taking them to their works to have them try it on. must i really have to do this? apparently so...especially for my bridesmaids. personally i think it is rediculous, but they dont understand time frames here. shoes come and go, people have the same shoe size as everyone else, so NO your size aint gonna be there in a week, hell the damn shoe might not even be there in a week.
i am at a point where i am beginning to realize that may is just around the corner...and i feel like i have so much to do. i dont feel like it, i know there is so much to do. i'd really have liked if all this were already done. but, its not. but whatever, its what danny says, it'll all fall into place and if doesnt then we'll deal with it when the time comes. but to relax and let things be is kinda out of the question for me. i just dont see me relaxing until may 18. i'd really like to set up a massage spa day with a few of my girls the day before the wedding. i really wish i can. maybe i'll just go with those that deserve to get pampered.
you know what i desparately need right now. a vacation...a little mini getaway. actually i need sleep. working 50 plus hours a week with only sunday off and planning this wedding has really consumed my life. i'm barely even hitting the gym every day. i need to go cause i need to lose this damn weight before the wedding...actually i need to flatten my stomach and tone my arms before the wedding, everything else is going to be hidden so i dont care for it....yet.
anyway, its 918pm and i am beat. i can literally fall asleep at my laptop right now. i feel like i have been running on fumes for the past week. i just feel out of it. i've caught myself almost making a left turn onto the wrong side of the street. how awful is that...i just have lack of sleeep i think...i catch myself not doing things, like locking my car, shutting the garage door..shit like that. eh, its life right. i'm dealing with it the best way i know how.
i just know that i have danny to come home to and an excited weiner. ... the dog LUTHOR. its always nice coming home to them cause they're excited to see me. it makes the day 10 times better than it was before i walked through the door. i have to give it to danny, he has put with a a lot of shit from me. this wedding has really gotten the best of me and he's seen me at my worse..and he has still managed to stay in love with me. he's a very supportive dude. i like that. he really has me grounded. i know i have a nice safe loving place to come home to and someone i can talk to about almost everything.
ok...seriously, i need to get to bed before i fall asleep. toodles looos...
