what'da ya know...another day gone. so fast. it seems as though i have done nothing today. although i have. i worked nearly 10 hours, drove to the valley to pick up my maid of honor's dress, stopped off at walmart to get some toiletries and arby's to get dinner for me and dan. soon i'll be folding clothes and writing out another handful of invites to mail out tomorrow. dang...and its already 9pm.
have you ever wondered why its necessary to work? i mean, its a circle or rather a cycle. people need to be assisted in everything they do. unless you live in the armpit of america and all youve got is a self sustaing farm or some shit like that. but needless to say, everything has to be manned by someone. there is no place we can go now a days without needing the help of someone else. take for instance...the grocery store. you think you're going there to help yourself, even if you're using the self check out, you're really not doing it solo. check this. the store had to be opened by someone. the food and other merchandise has to be stocked by someone. the self checkout has to be manned by someone. the carts and baskets have to be rallied up from time to time. so you see. your efforts in shopping for yourself or the fam, has really depended on a team of people to make your shopping efforts become successful. thank god we dont live in a society where we have to kill cows to get meat, or harvest the fields to get veggies or even slush around in the rice patties to get rice. to think about, i admire the pioneers a lot more now that i have put thought into it. where did this come from? i have no idea. but i feel sorry for all you out there reading that garbage that i just wrote in this paragraph here.
so i put some thought into life. where i'm at and where i thought i'd be right now. life is good. its as good as it can be right now. its been on a positive note now for the past 2 years. i never thought i'd be in the position i am now. i thought it would come a lot later in life, like when i'm in my mid thirties. though thats not very far away. i have a job. not a career as i suspected i would have by now, but i have a job. its okay paying and has the greatest benefits and perks. so i really cant be that. i've always wanted to work probation. but i dont think i'll succeed in that goal that i made for myself 3 years ago. reason being - its not good for married life or even one with a family. not this early at least. i'd like to be with my kids when and if i ever do have them. the kids thing is in question right now pending medical tests next month. my finances could definitely be better. i'm almost to being debt free, but not quite. i hope to be debt free by summer. granted with all this over time i'm putting in i hope to be debt free by the wedding if not sooner. i never thought i'd be getting married this soon, thats for sure. i thought it'd take me longer than this to even trust another man. i still have huge issues with trust. but am working on it with the help of might dan. my relationship with family could definitely be better, but we're all living our own separate lives often times forgetting who we are and where we came from. i wish my family was a little closer and tight knit, but that'll never happen unless hell freezes over. so chances are not likely. what a shame. i just need to take the time to take my little lucky stars. i'm in a better place than i have been in the past and life has been somewhat consistent lately which is good. i have my feet a little grounded but not quite. so to sum it up, life is good. . . and it keeps getting better. thanks dan!
ok...tis is all for now. had to get a blog in...and there you have it.
