tomorrow i leave bright and early for a 7 hour drive up the coast of california to monterey. there, i will be reunited with my relatives i haven't seen for a year or two. unfortunately, my relatives and i only seem to meet when someone in the family passes away. i cant even remember the last time my family visited the bay area for leisure. its unfortunate how we do not make the time to visit one another.
monterey is a special place for my family. its where my parents first started when they moved to the states. its where my oldest brother was born. its where my mom had her very first job as a midwife in the states. it's also the first place where they started to build for their future. all my relatives on my dad's side are still there. aside from having family in the area, monterey is one of the most beautiful places in california. the scenery is absolutely gorgeous. i'll have to try and take some photos while i'm there.
speaking of deaths. this is the second death in the family. i am hoping this year will be more forgiving than last year. it seems that my relatives are dropping dead like flies. it really sucks. however, i expected this growing up. my parents were old when they had me. my mom was 42 and my dad was 47. my parents are among the few of the youngest in their families. so that makes the rest of the relatives a lot older than they. i've been to funerals since i was a little girl. the first one i remember was my grandma on my mom's side. she passed away when i was 8. since then, there hasnt been a year where i did not mourn the loss of a loved one.
i have to admit that i deal with death rather calmly. funerals do not creep me out. burials do not creep me out. wakes dont even bother me. i've learned that people have their own way to grieve. that some get over it more quickly than others. i've learned that its a part of life. that my ultimate step in life is death. having lost so many relatives has really helped me accept death as a part of life. i have to believe that each one of us has a destination after life....heaven or hell.
after attending funerals the realization that life is too short becomes all to familiar with me. it saddens me at times because i know that at one point in my life i will lose my own parents. if anyone knows me, i value my parents as my most prized posessions. they are one of the very few important peoples in my life. i dread the day when i lose one. but i'll know that they'll be in a happier and more joyful place. and thats what will keep me content when the time comes. but i will be the first to admit that death will hit me the hardest when i lose one and both of my parents.
