today marks the 12 month countdown until the wedding. at 2pm it will be exactly one year until i promise to love and cherish daniel for the rest of our lives until death do we part. its quite moving i must say. it hasnt really sunk in yet, that i'm going to be making a life long commitment to him. as the months begin to disappear one by one, then it'll become more of a reality to me. wedding plans are already in the making. we have the church and time all set. we are checking out the reception venue tomorrow together. then soon after we'll be booking photographers, videoagraphers (sp?), and all the other hoopla to go along with it. next thing i know the wedding will be next week. wow.
its weird because a few weeks ago i broke down infront of daniel about this whole wedding plans stuff. i'm not one to really plan huge things as this. the only thing i really planned before was my high school prom, but that was broken down between a few people. so i had significant help with it. but the wedding....is a little different. its our day. the day i've never been able to have before, and here i want everything to be as perfect as i can possibly get it. why, because this is the last time i'm getting married. its a big deal to me. a very big deal to me. daniel tells me its not about the material aspects of it, but the vows we take. the meaning of marriage to us. and yes, he is right about all that. but i also want a wedding that i'll never forget. i want the pizazz and jazz that goes with celebrating a wedding. i want to be able to sit back at the end of the day and say wow...that was the most gorgeous wedding i've ever seen. and to know that it was mine will be the cherry on top of the sundae. all that hoopla, all happens to be the material side of it. but in all reality, the meaning of marriage to me is greater than the material. its deeper than all that. i know that. so why cant i have both?
on another note...the engagement party is this saturday at 6pm. unfortunately i was not able to get the day off because that boss of mine closed out the day for anyone to have the day off. whoopie for me. so that will mean that saturday will most likely be one of the most stressed out days i will ever have. i have to rush home from work, start the grill, get everything cooked by 5pm. hop in the shower, dry and do my hair, get dressed, put some make up on so i look somewhat beautiful, and head to the party before anyone really gets there. oh and did i mention that i work at 9am the next day. so this whole retail job that i have really sucks ass right now and will continue to until i find another job.
in any case, we have nearly 40 people coming to help celebrate our engagement. almost my entire family will be there, and all of our close friends will be there besides my maid of honor. she will have to make this up to me some how. we plan to just socialize and enjoy eachothers company. let everyone get to know everyone since a lot of people attending will be in the wedding. its good that they get to meet. there will obviously be good eats and some drinking involved. i'm excited but also stressed. i wont be in enjoy mode until mid party i bet. but thats ok. it happens.
needless to say 364 days to go....
