Lazy Day

My last day off before i have to work 9 days straight before my next two days off. at least those days off will be on the weekend...something i havent had for a long while now. hopefully daniel and i can plan something cool to do those days...being that its very rare that i have them off. sucky part is that i have a store meeting to be on my second day off at 5am. who the hell planned that shit? fuck it, who cares. go with the flow christine, it makes life a lot easier at work.

today is totally a lazy day. i'm out of a car until 3pm, so i woke up early to run around the block 4 times. then came back home, did some crunches, reverse crunches, squats and lunges. sometimes you gotta improvise when you cant get to the gym. its time to buckle down on my workouts being that the wedding is 11 months away. i hope to lose 20 pounds before then, if not 20 then dammit i better lose some inches off my waist and thighs. ha...every woman's trouble spots. i miss being in my teens and athletic, where i can eat just about anything and everything and not have to worry about fitting into my size 2 or 3 jeans. boy are those days long gone. now its the uphill battle to fit into the jeans i wear today, which i choose not to disclose the size on them. its quite scary actually.

anyway, the job hunting will begin soon. i need to expand my horizons and obtain experience elsewhere. somewhere along my field. i'm thinking about possibly going back to earn my masters in business admin or even social work. i havent really decided on that. i do know that i cant stay in retail. i need me a 9-5 monday through friday. fuck the weekend shifts...i've had it with them. i need consistency. but the problem with obtaining consistency is the fact that i will more than likely have to take a pay cut, and i'm not sure i want to do all that. there's a wedding that needs to be paid for and a house we want to try and buy. i dont make nearly enough as it is....how can afford a dollar or two pay cut an hour. just not possible right now. what will most likely end up happening is dropping down to part time where i am at, then working somewhere that is along my field of interest to gain experience until i can move into a full time job that pays well enough. the headaches of being out of college and indecisive. rather, its my fault for majoring in something that cant find a job in. i should have done business admin instead of law and society. sucks, cause the law intrigues me and business admin are where all the jobs are at right now. my luck! cant dwell now, need to adapt to society and make a place in it for myself.

as you can tell, lazy days offers me a lot of time to think about shit. i'll sit back and ponder what to do about my life, where i want to be in the future, how i plan on getting there and which routes to take.

for right now, i've seemed to put a lot of time into planning this wedding for next year. unfortunately, planning a wedding isnt all fun, nor does everything happen your way. it appears our guest list has grown by 50 people. in all reality, i am hoping that a quarter of the people we invite will end up rsvp'ing with a regret. planning is a job all in itself...i think a lot of my stress and headache will come down to having things done the way i want them done. that takes doing all the leg work, all the calling, all the driving around and figuring things out, all the canvasing, shopping about and just getting things done one by one. in the midst of all that, try and cut down some of the costs. trying to find people who know people and getting a referral discount or something. weddings arent cheap these days. $30k ten years ago would have bought you the most elegant wedding of someones dreams. nowadays, that buys you just the basics...barely the basics. that includes, the ceremony site, the reception venue and food. but also doesnt help when you have a guest list of 450 either. hence the saying, you cant have everything your way. oh well. reality always bites us in the ass.

i really need to start using that wedding planner we got from robbins bros. i think that will help me a lot. keep things organized and hopefully it will give me a sense of direction on what to do next. i envy people that are good at planning huge events like this.

its almost noon...and here i ponder what to do next. i've taken the pups a bath, worked on the guest list some, need to take dad to pick up his car at the shop when he gets back home, then he'll take me to get my car out of the shop around 3pm then i'll head home shortly after that to work on more wedding stuff...this time the budget. nah, i think i'll start that now after i post this.

here's to my last day off....

learn to appreciate

today is my day off...finally. the weekend was chaos at my work. there were crowds and crowds of people going into a frenzy over bbq grills and patio furniture. it was horrible. i really dont mind working the holidays but its the people that come into my work that makes me want the holidays off. its people that come in and expect me and my co-workers to drop everything we're doing and help them out. sorry buddy...it just doesnt work that way. and no i cant call the guy that rented the load-n-go and ask him when he'll be done so you can take your patio furniture home. he paid for the service... so he can drive to Timbuktu if he so chooses and your prissy ass and your ugly ass patio furniture can wait until he gets back. and yes, please take my damn name down and complain to my manager cause guess what bitch, he'll back me up!

seriously...why is it that people of high status expect the working class to drop everything? do you realize that the working class is the reason why you live such a rich lifestyle and if it were not for us your ass would be doing all the leg work. so take the time to appreciate the hard work we're shelling out for you, otherwise you'll get the shitty service you always complain about. and i'm the bitch on the other side of the counter that will continue to purposely fuck things up just to see you bitch and moan about the service. the reason why i do that...its fucking fun to see you get your panties in a bunch. the nicer you are to us, the better service we'll shell out. that will be a known fact....trust!

so having survived this weekend at my work, i have learned that hard work is never really appreciated by anybody. sometimes its hard to appreciate your own hard work because people think you arent working hard enough, when in fact you are busting your ass. i have learned that no matter the situation, no one seems to appreciate anything and its quite sad. i know people that i work with that bust ass day in and day out at work, to only find that their boss expects more. the reason why they expect more....is quite simple...they want you to do their work for them. so yes, i know exactly how it feels to not take your first and last break because there's so much work expected out of you, or to even clock out for lunch and still continue to work. or even to clock out when your shift is over but to continue to work. i know those feelings all to well. this is a company that hates giving out overtime unless approved by a manager..well guess what, i'm not clocking out and working for free anymore...i've stopped doing that a few weeks ago. if i'm working i'm getting paid...that's just the way its gonna be.

enough about work. i've learned from my past life experiences to appreciate all things in life. the small and the big. i appreciate the small things in life because they are what makes me feel alive. the small things count in my book. if anyone knows me, they'll acknowledge that. the bigger things in life are always appreciated because those are usually goals that i have set to achieve. these are things that people see and are aware of. having been out of college for a year now, time is of the essence. it seems like there are not enough hours in the day to do what i want. there's never enough time to spend with family or friends. so my days off when i am visiting my parents, i appreciate the time with them. i appreciate the talks my mom has with me. i appreciate the help given and taken between me and my dad. i appreciates the time i spend with my two dogs. when i get to sit on the floor and play catch or war with erin or when oreo is begging me to pick him up and cuddle with him are a few of the greatest feelings in the world. it also makes me appreciate the time spent with and away from daniel. as weird as it sounds, time apart is good for us. it allows us to miss each other when we're not close...and that keeps our passion alive. it keeps the love real.

daniel is one of the reasons why i have learned to appreciate life. he has really shown me to love life for what it is. to appreciate what you have and not yearn so much for what you dont have. daniel is a quite simple guy. he's a happy go lucky type of fellow. he goes with the flow. does not get upset over the tiny things and adapts to change very well...all of which are quite opposite of me. he has really allowed me to loosen up, to relax and enjoy the moment. we appreciate each other and what each of us has been through. i appreciate the time he takes out of his day to text me and tell me he loves. i appreciate how he gets up off the couch and greets me with a warm kiss and hug. i appreciate him waking up with me on the weekends and taking me to work. i appreciate everything he does...

to all you people out there reading this...when was the last time you appreciated someones hard work? the last time you told someone you appreciated them being in your life? the last time you took the time to appreciate life itself? if its been a while, then take the time now and appreciate what you have. if you have, then continue to do so. if you've never appreciated the small or big things, then learn to appreciate them.

**small note**buddy, i want one of them sweatshirts! tell me what i need to do to get my hands on one! for serious, i wanna rock one. hook a buddy up!

?

I'm not sure where this is all stemming from. But what better way to let shit out other than a blog? For some reason, i have had many run-ins with relatives while out and about running errands and getting things done that i would not otherwise get done working a midshift at the torturous hell depot.

making my way through costco today i ran into my ninong (god father from baptism). he questioned my life as he always does every so often that we see each other. the last i saw him was this time last year at my graduation party. at that time he questioned my goals for a career. he, as godfathers are supposed to, added his 2 sense in which ended up equaling a whole dollar by the time the conversation came to an end. again, today, he did the same. he asked where i worked, where i live, how much i am paying for rent, added that young people as myself should not buy a house because we seem to be too careless to take care of it - he referring to the yard work and the like. i felt a little offended in a sense because it is a dream of mine to have a house. and who the hell is he to say that i would be too careless to take care of my yard. damnit, that's why people hire gardeners for a nominal fee. if worse came to worse, i would most certainly hire one. the conversation ended with him making note that he would like to see me succeed. that was a nice thing to say i suppose. it just sounded weird coming from him. that was my mini lecture at costco today.

next on my agenda was to run to petsmart to buy oreo more of his prescription dog food. who did i run into there, do you wonder? of all people a friend from grossmont college. was not at all surprised being that the college was just up the highway. but this guy had the hugest crush on me, and apparently still does. guys...here's a tip...an engagement ring really means she is engaged. so get over it already. stop with the sweet talk about being better than my guy. my guy is the best thing that has happened to me since sliced bread ok! seriously, if daniel was not good enough for me, i would have never said yes when he proposed. no one will ever compare to daniel...and yes, i do know that for a fact! so suck it up and find your own girl. but thanks for the compliments.

next stop the gym. i remember why now, that i dont workout at the 24 in santee. there are way too many people that i know there from my college days and my high school days. a lot of them people are all about material things. which is fine for them. but if anyone knows me, they know me to be an average gal not overly obsessed with what i have and how much i paid for it. seriously! its nice to have expensive things, but that's not all that matters to me. when you get to my age, and have been through the things i have been through, have acquired a student loan, and paying for bills - you spend your money a lot more wisely. priorities change...you'll soon learn to face it one day...maybe.

next stop...henrys. this was one of the places i did not run into anyone. thank goodness. this day almost turned out to be a trip down memory lane for me. henrys always reminds me to eat healthy. granted, they only have healthy stuff there, so there is not much else you can buy but healthy stuff...which is good. maybe this is why daniel likes to shop at trader joes. i have started a new work out routine...cardio one day and cardio and lifting the next day...will alternate every other day...to help burn the fat and get toned finally. i've got till august to get toned up...so I'm' hoping this works. am making a conscious effort to eat healthier and more often...it boosts the metabolism.

last stop...the gas station. why is it that it costs almost an arm and leg to fill my tank now...i was half tank and it cost me $40. damn. i remember when i first got my license and gas was serious $2 and come change...small change. this whole gas thing is bullshit. great way to rip us all off. and its perfect too because our public transportation out here sucks ass. you'll either get robbed or end up in a place where people will rob you. if we had better public transportation like switzerland's...i'll be down to take it. but not here...not with all you weirdos out there stalking people and victimizing them.

so i think i'm done bitching. tomorrow...hell depot starts again. damn i need a new job soon. i'll keep bitching till i find one....get used to it folks.

One night to remember....

Our engagement party was last night. the day started off a little slow for us both. we decided that we would cook, or shall i say, i would cook all the food for the party. we wanted a bbq type of feel to the party. It was really casual to say the least. daniel and i had stayed up pretty late the night before marinating the food. we peeled garlic for almost 3 hours...trust me when i say, that i wont be doing this again....but if i do, it wont be such a huge quantity as this. i started cooking the meet about 2pm and didnt finish everything until a little past 5pm. thanks to monica and dominique i had some help getting things in order. daniel did all the leg work of course. so the party kicks off a little late...about 630pm. people really liked the food...thank goodness...i was worried it wouldnt come out right...but everyone enjoyed...or at least they said they did. about an hour in the party monica decides to go for an ice run at the liquor store. unfortunately she locks her keys in the car. not a big deal, except for the fact that the car was still running. how she managed to do this is beyond me. so needless to say, i leave the hosting up to daniel and walk to the liquor store and see whats going on. having talked to most people coming in and out of the liqour store, monica is unable to get someone to open her car. AAA to the rescue. thank goodness i have such a service, otherwise it really would have sucked!!! here a few photos documenting the scene....



** sign says 15 min parking max...she was parked for almost half an hour!**

**monica's prince in the shinning white tow truck finally arrives to save her**

**eric works diligently to fix her window after unlocking her car and saving the day**

** yul eats as he watches the erick work his magic**


***Daniel and I take moment to take a keepsake photo***

***myself, dominique and monica***

***janice, myself and ernest***

***monica, myself and yul***

***tim, myself and yul***

***my buddy and me***

***daniel and yul***

***the kiss to end the night***

That was a quick run down of what happened. If you need more photos look daniel up on flickr- djyoung71. you'll find the full library of photos of our engagement party. Overall, we had a great night. Most of our friends and family came out. unfortunately my dad was too sick to come and take part, i was pretty bummed about that. two of my bridesmaids was unable to attend. kieu wasnt able to come because her friend's mom had a heart attack earlier that day, and i felt if was important for her to stay with her friend. my other bridesmaid...no idea what her excuse is, but i think she'll be booted from the wedding party. sorry!!! my maid of honor was in michigan, and will be in town the following weekend. we'll see if we get together or not, its usually hectic when she comes into town. lets see how hard we can try to get together.

now that the engagement party is done and over with, the work begins to plan this wedding that is a year away. i think we have a head start on it, just because we already have the church and know where we want the reception. i will be calling tomorrow to get the reception venue rented out to us, so that way no one sweeps it from under our feet. next month, the guest list will be compiled and we'll have a rough but approximate number of how may guests will be attending. we're trying to keep it no more than 400.

again, thanks to all those that helped set the party up and a special thanks to those that stayed behind to help clean it up. we greatly appreciate your help. we hope you all had a blast.

362 days and counting down....

12 months and counting....

today marks the 12 month countdown until the wedding. at 2pm it will be exactly one year until i promise to love and cherish daniel for the rest of our lives until death do we part. its quite moving i must say. it hasnt really sunk in yet, that i'm going to be making a life long commitment to him. as the months begin to disappear one by one, then it'll become more of a reality to me. wedding plans are already in the making. we have the church and time all set. we are checking out the reception venue tomorrow together. then soon after we'll be booking photographers, videoagraphers (sp?), and all the other hoopla to go along with it. next thing i know the wedding will be next week. wow.

its weird because a few weeks ago i broke down infront of daniel about this whole wedding plans stuff. i'm not one to really plan huge things as this. the only thing i really planned before was my high school prom, but that was broken down between a few people. so i had significant help with it. but the wedding....is a little different. its our day. the day i've never been able to have before, and here i want everything to be as perfect as i can possibly get it. why, because this is the last time i'm getting married. its a big deal to me. a very big deal to me. daniel tells me its not about the material aspects of it, but the vows we take. the meaning of marriage to us. and yes, he is right about all that. but i also want a wedding that i'll never forget. i want the pizazz and jazz that goes with celebrating a wedding. i want to be able to sit back at the end of the day and say wow...that was the most gorgeous wedding i've ever seen. and to know that it was mine will be the cherry on top of the sundae. all that hoopla, all happens to be the material side of it. but in all reality, the meaning of marriage to me is greater than the material. its deeper than all that. i know that. so why cant i have both?

on another note...the engagement party is this saturday at 6pm. unfortunately i was not able to get the day off because that boss of mine closed out the day for anyone to have the day off. whoopie for me. so that will mean that saturday will most likely be one of the most stressed out days i will ever have. i have to rush home from work, start the grill, get everything cooked by 5pm. hop in the shower, dry and do my hair, get dressed, put some make up on so i look somewhat beautiful, and head to the party before anyone really gets there. oh and did i mention that i work at 9am the next day. so this whole retail job that i have really sucks ass right now and will continue to until i find another job.

in any case, we have nearly 40 people coming to help celebrate our engagement. almost my entire family will be there, and all of our close friends will be there besides my maid of honor. she will have to make this up to me some how. we plan to just socialize and enjoy eachothers company. let everyone get to know everyone since a lot of people attending will be in the wedding. its good that they get to meet. there will obviously be good eats and some drinking involved. i'm excited but also stressed. i wont be in enjoy mode until mid party i bet. but thats ok. it happens.

needless to say 364 days to go....

flying solo...

this weekend i have been flying solo. i've been able to hang out with friends unattached or worried about coming home at a decent time to see daniel. i dont have that guilt that i would otherwise feel if i were to go out and daniel was at home. this weekend i can come and go as i feel. nobody to worry about but luthor. he's pretty simple though, gotta walk him and feed him and make sure he's a happy weiner.

last night was the beginning of my solo flight this weekend...i started off at el torito with lindsay and met up afterwards with a few friends from high school at a local bar and grill in town. that was a lot of fun. there was a lot of catching up that we did. its so weird to see how each one of our lives has changed since the last time we had drinks as we did last night. the night ended pretty early since i had to be at work at 6am. oh well....

tonite, i had a little dinner get together with some co-workers that i can actually hang with. they're the cool ones at work. the ones i can confide in and the ones i trust the most. we all see eye to eye about things, and that helps a lot in the industry we work in. so i bbq'd some salmon and chicken. mind you i've never made those before, and i must admit that i was quite impressed. they all liked it and that made me feel good. i miss having bbqs with a few friends over to just chill and hang out. those were the days in temecula. tonite really made me realize that its something i definately miss. i wish i'll have more opportunities to cook up some good eats and catch up with friends more often...after all, they are who gets me through the days at times. without them, work would be routine and boring. anyway, tonite is not quite over. one more stop with friends and a few more drinks. possibly even some stripper action. havent seen one in what seems to be years. reminds me of my single days. but hey, i am flying solo this weekend...well, up until tomorrow at 2pm at least. so tonite, i am living it up.

daniel is in vegas for a bachelor party. he's called a few times mentioning he misses me and loves me. i just hope he's having the time of his life doing whatever they're doing. go buck wild buddy! its about time...take out some of that stress tonite...do what you gotta do. release that wild beast you have shacked up in that body of yours....dont tell me you dont have one, cause damnit we all have one!!!! trust me...i know! my trust lies with you...if only you understood that. maybe one of these days before we get married you will. until then, i'll continue to give you shit about things that you think bothers me. such is life... sorry! you'll learn to catch on. there are not very many people i trust in this life, and it so happens that you are one of them....so live life buddy. you are a grown man, and i trust your judgment. you have a mind of your own and you know whats right and wrong. thats all that needs to be said about that.

you cannot love life until you love the life you live...damnit, i'm working on loving it...one of these days i'll get there and life will be grand! trust me...

On the road again...

tomorrow i leave bright and early for a 7 hour drive up the coast of california to monterey. there, i will be reunited with my relatives i haven't seen for a year or two. unfortunately, my relatives and i only seem to meet when someone in the family passes away. i cant even remember the last time my family visited the bay area for leisure. its unfortunate how we do not make the time to visit one another.

monterey is a special place for my family. its where my parents first started when they moved to the states. its where my oldest brother was born. its where my mom had her very first job as a midwife in the states. it's also the first place where they started to build for their future. all my relatives on my dad's side are still there. aside from having family in the area, monterey is one of the most beautiful places in california. the scenery is absolutely gorgeous. i'll have to try and take some photos while i'm there.

speaking of deaths. this is the second death in the family. i am hoping this year will be more forgiving than last year. it seems that my relatives are dropping dead like flies. it really sucks. however, i expected this growing up. my parents were old when they had me. my mom was 42 and my dad was 47. my parents are among the few of the youngest in their families. so that makes the rest of the relatives a lot older than they. i've been to funerals since i was a little girl. the first one i remember was my grandma on my mom's side. she passed away when i was 8. since then, there hasnt been a year where i did not mourn the loss of a loved one.

i have to admit that i deal with death rather calmly. funerals do not creep me out. burials do not creep me out. wakes dont even bother me. i've learned that people have their own way to grieve. that some get over it more quickly than others. i've learned that its a part of life. that my ultimate step in life is death. having lost so many relatives has really helped me accept death as a part of life. i have to believe that each one of us has a destination after life....heaven or hell.

after attending funerals the realization that life is too short becomes all to familiar with me. it saddens me at times because i know that at one point in my life i will lose my own parents. if anyone knows me, i value my parents as my most prized posessions. they are one of the very few important peoples in my life. i dread the day when i lose one. but i'll know that they'll be in a happier and more joyful place. and thats what will keep me content when the time comes. but i will be the first to admit that death will hit me the hardest when i lose one and both of my parents.