nearly 4 and a half hours to go before we load up the car and head to colorado....to meet the parents. you betcha i am nervous as hell. i dont know why i am so nervous. maybe it has to do with these folks being daniel's parents...and that we're getting married in six months. its scary because.....well it just is damnit. i dont know how to explain it.
daniel created a diversion for us....for black friday. he booked tickets to the nuggets vs timberwolves at the pepsi center in denver at 7pm. i am so excited....and we're going with his parents...some common ground. but its a diversion, gets us out the house and into something we like doing....watching basketball. i get to see kleiza...aka...hot guys...play some ball in his home court. hopefully they kill the other team.
so it appears that we will be spending thanksgiving at his brother's house. a new house and his brother's first thanksgiving in the house...so its special to everyone. i'm excited about thanksgiving. i love turkey and all the fixin's. hopefully it'll be scrumptuous.
i dont think my family here is having a thanksgiving. i guess my sis-in-law is not doing so well, health wise. she recently had her gallbladder removed and is having a slow recovery....and being that thanksgiving is literally around the corner, i doubt they'll be fixin the traditional thanksgiving lunch. so i dont know what my family is doing. i dont think my mom is hosting it at her house, so they may just go out to dinner or do something real basic at the house. my oldest brother is already in town from arizona for the holidays, my youngest older brother is arriving back into town for the holidays and well, the second oldest is in town and the third oldest hasnt spent thanksgiving with us since he moved to the east coast. i hope he and his family have a wonderful thanksgiving.
anyway, i am all packed up except for a sweater that is in the dryer...that is still not dry yet....so i am waiting up for it. danny is passed out on the couch and luthor...he's already in bed waiting for us. he thinks he's gonna be left behind again...but he's in for a surprise....cause he's coming with us and dont even know it.
anyway, i better get the rest of the odds and ends together...and get to sleep. with me luck with meeting them -in-laws....i'll need....
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
1 day
today is finally friday...schwoo...finally! vacation officially begins....but it brings me closer to sunday and closer to meeting the --in-laws..... yep you got it, nervousness creeping back in me. maybe i'll fall asleep on the ride over and just not have to think about it..and awaken when we are finally there then be in a stupor from the sleep. ha. ya right. i'll probably be up 80% of the way...just maybe danny will let me do some driving. but who knows.
i've got some religious obligation to tend to tonight and the better part of tomorrow then its packing time for colorado. on tuesday, while we are there, there is supposed to be a snow storm. man...that will be new to me. not sure what that is, or how it'll be...but i do know that my ass will be inside next to a fire if not bundled up in blankets. me and the cold dont do very well...i think. i'm not sure...cold for me is like 65 degrees....and here i am going to a place where it dips down to 35...i may freeze to death.
but needless to say, i'm feeling excitement and nervousness at the same time. 1 day to go...
i've got some religious obligation to tend to tonight and the better part of tomorrow then its packing time for colorado. on tuesday, while we are there, there is supposed to be a snow storm. man...that will be new to me. not sure what that is, or how it'll be...but i do know that my ass will be inside next to a fire if not bundled up in blankets. me and the cold dont do very well...i think. i'm not sure...cold for me is like 65 degrees....and here i am going to a place where it dips down to 35...i may freeze to death.
but needless to say, i'm feeling excitement and nervousness at the same time. 1 day to go...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
nervous
tomorrow is my 7th day working...and man, i am feeling it. today dragged all day...no customers to tend to, nor any problems. its was a nice day, but a very boring one. i cant even tell you what i did today because i really didnt do anything. however, i did push in some carts and thats about it, i was actually happy to do it because i didnt have a chance to go to the gym this morning...i did a some ab work and weights at home, but not a full blown workout.
for the past few weeks now, well - ever since we got back from ireland, i've been thinking about this colorado trip. i am nervous as all hell. i've never met daniel's parents. this sunday will be my first face-to-face encounter with them. have you any idea how nerve racking this is for me. i've never really had a problem with parents, most parents i meet love me on the spot. i guess this is different, because i dont ever talk to danny's parents. i've talked each of his parents once or twice...and thats all. i've been with daniel now for a year and 7 months on the 21st.
i've gotten to the point that i dont sleep at night thinking about it. there isnt anything i want more than for them to like me. its hard when you dont get a long with your in-laws. really hard. i dont ever want to be in that position. but then again, i'll only have to see them once a year for a holiday. danny says not to worry, but of course he'll say that, they're his parents. i've just come to the conclusion that they will either hate me or love me...and i'll just have to live with what they decide.
the plan for the trip is to leave about 4am sunday morning, in hopes to get there by 9pm in the evening. we are driving straight through, stopping now and again to get something to eat, take a potty break, let luthor out, and to stretch our legs...oh and gas...how can i forget the oh so expensive gas now a days. so wish me luck, because i will be needing it for sure.
trust me when i say that i will be nervous until sunday about 9pm when we finally arrive in buena vista, colorado and the young residence.....
stay tuned for the next blog, it ought to be when i am in colorado...
for the past few weeks now, well - ever since we got back from ireland, i've been thinking about this colorado trip. i am nervous as all hell. i've never met daniel's parents. this sunday will be my first face-to-face encounter with them. have you any idea how nerve racking this is for me. i've never really had a problem with parents, most parents i meet love me on the spot. i guess this is different, because i dont ever talk to danny's parents. i've talked each of his parents once or twice...and thats all. i've been with daniel now for a year and 7 months on the 21st.
i've gotten to the point that i dont sleep at night thinking about it. there isnt anything i want more than for them to like me. its hard when you dont get a long with your in-laws. really hard. i dont ever want to be in that position. but then again, i'll only have to see them once a year for a holiday. danny says not to worry, but of course he'll say that, they're his parents. i've just come to the conclusion that they will either hate me or love me...and i'll just have to live with what they decide.
the plan for the trip is to leave about 4am sunday morning, in hopes to get there by 9pm in the evening. we are driving straight through, stopping now and again to get something to eat, take a potty break, let luthor out, and to stretch our legs...oh and gas...how can i forget the oh so expensive gas now a days. so wish me luck, because i will be needing it for sure.
trust me when i say that i will be nervous until sunday about 9pm when we finally arrive in buena vista, colorado and the young residence.....
stay tuned for the next blog, it ought to be when i am in colorado...
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Downtown
it has been a long while since dan and i have been out. well, to downtown at least. we usually frequent ocean beach, as it is a much more casual and relaxing place to be. but tonite, we've been invited to have dinner for janice's birthday at sushi ito in downtown off of f street. i think the last time we were downtown was for the padre game against the rockies back in september. it'll be a lil different this time around. dan hasnt really had a chance to really go out with any of my friends...actually we hardly ever go out with my friends...we are always meeting up with his. timing i guess is the cause of that, or maybe dan just doesnt like going out with my friends. who knows. who cares really.
so sushi ito....sushi for the second time this week. i'm surprised i'm not more excited. i love sushi. not sure why i'm not looking forward to this outing. i guess it has a lot to do with downtown. downtown really isnt my place. it was way back in the day when i was way younger, but no i have learned that i like the more laid back scene. i like a place where i can be my usual jeans and t type of wear. we'll see...maybe a new job on the horizon will change all that.
well, i best doll up now so we can hit the downtown scene. ...sushi ito here we come...oh and happy birthday janice!
so sushi ito....sushi for the second time this week. i'm surprised i'm not more excited. i love sushi. not sure why i'm not looking forward to this outing. i guess it has a lot to do with downtown. downtown really isnt my place. it was way back in the day when i was way younger, but no i have learned that i like the more laid back scene. i like a place where i can be my usual jeans and t type of wear. we'll see...maybe a new job on the horizon will change all that.
well, i best doll up now so we can hit the downtown scene. ...sushi ito here we come...oh and happy birthday janice!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Communication
topic on hand...COMMUNICATION...how does such a word fall so deeply on to the gray side of things. One phrase can mean different things to different people....and why is that? why have communication when all you're going to do is get lost in the meaning intended? the funny thing, i think, is that we need communication to maintain order. Order in society, order within a family, order within a relationship/marriage, order within the work place, and so on. Yet it is the same communication that fucks things up. its what makes people angry, its how people perceive things differently, its what makes people tick! how can this be?
here's my suggestions on the topic>>>>>
1. tone. the tone in which one says something can definitely contribute to how something is perceived, understood and taken. when one's tone is derogatory, then the one listening to it may feel they have been beaten down with words. when one is authoritative, the one listening to it may feel they are to obey and fall in line with what was said. when one's tone is complainative (yes i probably made this word up), the one listening may feel like they're listening to an endless bitch session.
2. perception. perception is yet the other key, i think, how communication falls into the gray scale. when one laughs when one is talking, it can be rude if the matter at hand is important to the speaker. the key to this -is importance of what is being said....one may think the matter is important yet the other does not. how can people tell? you cant. its simple as that. so perception in itself is gray.
3. animation. hand gestures can, usually be, a tell tale sign of the tone of the conversation. thoughtful hand gestures are usually present in a normal conversation in which both parties are enjoying the conversation. violent hand gestures usually mean that the lines of communication are urgent or confrontational. usually not a good thing. no hand gestures...well, some people just dont use them.
why am i getting into the lines of communication, you ask? because communication can be so fucked up. the ways in which i communicate arent always successful with what i am trying to get across to the other person. this usually turns into something where i've hurt someone's feelings or someone gestures back in a not so nice way and in turn hurts my feelings.
what ever happened to this phrase: you can talk to me about anything, i'm here for you. i've learned that phrase to not always be true. sometimes people say that just to be nice at the moment, but when all is said and done, and you finally break down and let loose, they put you down. not a very good feeling....then means of communication have been forfeited....cause if you're like me...i just shut down and start harboring things inside, which we all know is not always a good thing.
i've always had the problem of not speaking out what i feel, until about a year and a half ago when i went through some life altering changes. its always been a problem for me since i can remember. i usually keep my troubles, heart ache, frustrations and anger to myself. ..because of the simple fact that i dont want to burden anyone else with my troubles or have the fear of being misinterpreted by the listener. i also have learned over the years that it turns you into a ticking time bomb ready to go off at anyone at any time. but why share your thoughts and feelings when in the end all you get is laughed at or ridiculed?. why? so now, i am learning all over again, that you really cant let loose and talk to people without judgment. you just cant. because if you can, then people wouldnt be up all night thinking about events that occurred to them and how it has effected them in a manner that is bothersome.
so having tried out both outlets...i've learned now that its just better to keep things to yourself. it saves you time. it can save an argument. it can save misconception...it can save a mouthful of words wasted....
here's my suggestions on the topic>>>>>
1. tone. the tone in which one says something can definitely contribute to how something is perceived, understood and taken. when one's tone is derogatory, then the one listening to it may feel they have been beaten down with words. when one is authoritative, the one listening to it may feel they are to obey and fall in line with what was said. when one's tone is complainative (yes i probably made this word up), the one listening may feel like they're listening to an endless bitch session.
2. perception. perception is yet the other key, i think, how communication falls into the gray scale. when one laughs when one is talking, it can be rude if the matter at hand is important to the speaker. the key to this -is importance of what is being said....one may think the matter is important yet the other does not. how can people tell? you cant. its simple as that. so perception in itself is gray.
3. animation. hand gestures can, usually be, a tell tale sign of the tone of the conversation. thoughtful hand gestures are usually present in a normal conversation in which both parties are enjoying the conversation. violent hand gestures usually mean that the lines of communication are urgent or confrontational. usually not a good thing. no hand gestures...well, some people just dont use them.
why am i getting into the lines of communication, you ask? because communication can be so fucked up. the ways in which i communicate arent always successful with what i am trying to get across to the other person. this usually turns into something where i've hurt someone's feelings or someone gestures back in a not so nice way and in turn hurts my feelings.
what ever happened to this phrase: you can talk to me about anything, i'm here for you. i've learned that phrase to not always be true. sometimes people say that just to be nice at the moment, but when all is said and done, and you finally break down and let loose, they put you down. not a very good feeling....then means of communication have been forfeited....cause if you're like me...i just shut down and start harboring things inside, which we all know is not always a good thing.
i've always had the problem of not speaking out what i feel, until about a year and a half ago when i went through some life altering changes. its always been a problem for me since i can remember. i usually keep my troubles, heart ache, frustrations and anger to myself. ..because of the simple fact that i dont want to burden anyone else with my troubles or have the fear of being misinterpreted by the listener. i also have learned over the years that it turns you into a ticking time bomb ready to go off at anyone at any time. but why share your thoughts and feelings when in the end all you get is laughed at or ridiculed?. why? so now, i am learning all over again, that you really cant let loose and talk to people without judgment. you just cant. because if you can, then people wouldnt be up all night thinking about events that occurred to them and how it has effected them in a manner that is bothersome.
so having tried out both outlets...i've learned now that its just better to keep things to yourself. it saves you time. it can save an argument. it can save misconception...it can save a mouthful of words wasted....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Preparations
the month of november has finally arrived...which marks 6 months before the wedding. the planning is in full swing, more so than ever before. i have been able to get a lot of things done. my to-do-list is getting shorter and shorter...thank GOD. i never thought i would see the light at the end of this tunnel. planning a wedding by yourself is f-ing difficult. i dont recommend it to anyone...so all you young boys and gals, start saving for a wedding planner...cause them bitches are expensive. to date...i only have to pick out invitations and tuxedos...and minor odds and ends that wont take long.
this thursday i am taking my girls in to get fitted for their dresses...and that in itself will be a huge relief, cause that means that the tuxedos will be next. however, i need to get on danny about making time to go pick out invites soon. the boy lags sometimes. i cant wait till all this planning is done and over with. seriously! i dont understand how people can do this for a living...but i guess if the price is right then all else doesnt really matter.
this month, i have another huge event happening in my life. i will, for the first time, be meeting my future in-laws. man that has a weird ring to it. i've only talked to donna twice and roger once. we are spending about 5 whole days over there. i just hope that things go well. i know that the wedding may be an issue with it being catholic and large. i just dont want to have to feel that i have to defend my ways when i get to colorado. there's a part of me thats already building that wall of defense...why? i'm not sure. i guess its because i dont know what to expect. i do know that this trip will probably not be hunky dory as most trips. there's a dominant feeling of nervousness and uneasiness that lingers within me. i hope for my sake, that i'm just over reacting.
i guess in a sense, i dont have that excited feel with the wedding as i thought i would have. dont get me wrong, but theres a bone or two in my body thats excited...and well...the other bones...arent really...they dont know what to feel. it seems, sometimes, that its a waste of time and just a hassle with everyone. one family wants large, the other family wants small. one family is religious, the other is not. i wonder if this will cause major problems between the families as the wedding approaches and even later down the line in the future. i dont have answers to that, and thats probably what scares me the most.
back to thanksgiving...this is my first thanksgiving with danny's family. so it will be fun to see what his family does for thanksgiving. i hear that card games are a biggie. i hope all goes well. i know he's really excited to go home for thanksgiving. he's excited to see family again and to just soak in the mountain scape that he grew up with. it'll be nice to see him relax in his own mountain man world. he needs a breather...i hope this trip will relax him.
this thursday i am taking my girls in to get fitted for their dresses...and that in itself will be a huge relief, cause that means that the tuxedos will be next. however, i need to get on danny about making time to go pick out invites soon. the boy lags sometimes. i cant wait till all this planning is done and over with. seriously! i dont understand how people can do this for a living...but i guess if the price is right then all else doesnt really matter.
this month, i have another huge event happening in my life. i will, for the first time, be meeting my future in-laws. man that has a weird ring to it. i've only talked to donna twice and roger once. we are spending about 5 whole days over there. i just hope that things go well. i know that the wedding may be an issue with it being catholic and large. i just dont want to have to feel that i have to defend my ways when i get to colorado. there's a part of me thats already building that wall of defense...why? i'm not sure. i guess its because i dont know what to expect. i do know that this trip will probably not be hunky dory as most trips. there's a dominant feeling of nervousness and uneasiness that lingers within me. i hope for my sake, that i'm just over reacting.
i guess in a sense, i dont have that excited feel with the wedding as i thought i would have. dont get me wrong, but theres a bone or two in my body thats excited...and well...the other bones...arent really...they dont know what to feel. it seems, sometimes, that its a waste of time and just a hassle with everyone. one family wants large, the other family wants small. one family is religious, the other is not. i wonder if this will cause major problems between the families as the wedding approaches and even later down the line in the future. i dont have answers to that, and thats probably what scares me the most.
back to thanksgiving...this is my first thanksgiving with danny's family. so it will be fun to see what his family does for thanksgiving. i hear that card games are a biggie. i hope all goes well. i know he's really excited to go home for thanksgiving. he's excited to see family again and to just soak in the mountain scape that he grew up with. it'll be nice to see him relax in his own mountain man world. he needs a breather...i hope this trip will relax him.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Deceit
Yesterday was a very weird one. I dont know how to beat around the bush or give you much background on what i am about to cover in this blog, so i will just dive into it and hopefully you'll understand.
About noon yesterday M (the whistler) came up to me in a very somber but questionable fashion. She posed the question: "Christine, why do people portray themselves to be something they are not?" All i could answer was..."they're posers, wannabes, and self-conscious." I left it at that. Never thought anything of it until later.
Soon after my short conversation with Maureen, rumor had it that D (the candy lady) was being fired and arrested. I was shocked. I would have never thought that D would be that type of person. Apparently she was stealing money from the company (embezzlement) and also letting customers obtain merchandise for free. A huge NO NO. Funny thing is that D was talking shit about the LP that morning about how lazy he was and very unproductive he was....and only hours later she was the target of his investigation and productivity for the last couple of weeks if not months. Ironic how shit was talked and the bad are cuffed and escorted away. I do not know the full story and I am not sure i want too. reason being, i liked D. she was a nice person....well the person i knew her to be...and i would much rather keep that perception of her. It definitely was not a fun sight to see her being cuffed and escorted out by 3 uniformed police officers. Everyone in the store knew the situation, not all knew the individual, but everyone knew something wasnt adding up when 3 squad cars should up in front of the store and all headed back to the manager's office.
People are not always what they seem to be. Its unfortunate that I had to see D go away in the way she did. Even now, i still feel that she was wrongly accused and I hope that be true rather than the rumors that are circulating around. I wish her luck in life and hope this clears in her favor...and if not, then i certainly hope that she opts to go the other direction in life as opposed to a life of white collar crime.
About noon yesterday M (the whistler) came up to me in a very somber but questionable fashion. She posed the question: "Christine, why do people portray themselves to be something they are not?" All i could answer was..."they're posers, wannabes, and self-conscious." I left it at that. Never thought anything of it until later.
Soon after my short conversation with Maureen, rumor had it that D (the candy lady) was being fired and arrested. I was shocked. I would have never thought that D would be that type of person. Apparently she was stealing money from the company (embezzlement) and also letting customers obtain merchandise for free. A huge NO NO. Funny thing is that D was talking shit about the LP that morning about how lazy he was and very unproductive he was....and only hours later she was the target of his investigation and productivity for the last couple of weeks if not months. Ironic how shit was talked and the bad are cuffed and escorted away. I do not know the full story and I am not sure i want too. reason being, i liked D. she was a nice person....well the person i knew her to be...and i would much rather keep that perception of her. It definitely was not a fun sight to see her being cuffed and escorted out by 3 uniformed police officers. Everyone in the store knew the situation, not all knew the individual, but everyone knew something wasnt adding up when 3 squad cars should up in front of the store and all headed back to the manager's office.
People are not always what they seem to be. Its unfortunate that I had to see D go away in the way she did. Even now, i still feel that she was wrongly accused and I hope that be true rather than the rumors that are circulating around. I wish her luck in life and hope this clears in her favor...and if not, then i certainly hope that she opts to go the other direction in life as opposed to a life of white collar crime.
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