topic on hand...COMMUNICATION...how does such a word fall so deeply on to the gray side of things. One phrase can mean different things to different people....and why is that? why have communication when all you're going to do is get lost in the meaning intended? the funny thing, i think, is that we need communication to maintain order. Order in society, order within a family, order within a relationship/marriage, order within the work place, and so on. Yet it is the same communication that fucks things up. its what makes people angry, its how people perceive things differently, its what makes people tick! how can this be?
here's my suggestions on the topic>>>>>
1. tone. the tone in which one says something can definitely contribute to how something is perceived, understood and taken. when one's tone is derogatory, then the one listening to it may feel they have been beaten down with words. when one is authoritative, the one listening to it may feel they are to obey and fall in line with what was said. when one's tone is complainative (yes i probably made this word up), the one listening may feel like they're listening to an endless bitch session.
2. perception. perception is yet the other key, i think, how communication falls into the gray scale. when one laughs when one is talking, it can be rude if the matter at hand is important to the speaker. the key to this -is importance of what is being said....one may think the matter is important yet the other does not. how can people tell? you cant. its simple as that. so perception in itself is gray.
3. animation. hand gestures can, usually be, a tell tale sign of the tone of the conversation. thoughtful hand gestures are usually present in a normal conversation in which both parties are enjoying the conversation. violent hand gestures usually mean that the lines of communication are urgent or confrontational. usually not a good thing. no hand gestures...well, some people just dont use them.
why am i getting into the lines of communication, you ask? because communication can be so fucked up. the ways in which i communicate arent always successful with what i am trying to get across to the other person. this usually turns into something where i've hurt someone's feelings or someone gestures back in a not so nice way and in turn hurts my feelings.
what ever happened to this phrase: you can talk to me about anything, i'm here for you. i've learned that phrase to not always be true. sometimes people say that just to be nice at the moment, but when all is said and done, and you finally break down and let loose, they put you down. not a very good feeling....then means of communication have been forfeited....cause if you're like me...i just shut down and start harboring things inside, which we all know is not always a good thing.
i've always had the problem of not speaking out what i feel, until about a year and a half ago when i went through some life altering changes. its always been a problem for me since i can remember. i usually keep my troubles, heart ache, frustrations and anger to myself. ..because of the simple fact that i dont want to burden anyone else with my troubles or have the fear of being misinterpreted by the listener. i also have learned over the years that it turns you into a ticking time bomb ready to go off at anyone at any time. but why share your thoughts and feelings when in the end all you get is laughed at or ridiculed?. why? so now, i am learning all over again, that you really cant let loose and talk to people without judgment. you just cant. because if you can, then people wouldnt be up all night thinking about events that occurred to them and how it has effected them in a manner that is bothersome.
so having tried out both outlets...i've learned now that its just better to keep things to yourself. it saves you time. it can save an argument. it can save misconception...it can save a mouthful of words wasted....
