its about that time of the year that many people start feeling a lil under the weather. believe it or not, my danny, is under the weather. the man hardly ever gets sick. but for some reason, this bug has got a hold of him for sure. he's at home right now, i'm hoping, sleeping like a baby. he was instructed to take some nyquil, but he hates taking medicine. hopefully tonite he'll be able to sweat it out...and sleep soundly not having to worry that he might be keeping me up.
this month has been quite a busy one. the colorado trip really made it busy, but also having a new job opportunity arise made it even more busy. i, after 1 year and 3 months, finally walked into the hr office and handed jessie my two weeks notice. i cant even begin to express how good that felt. having worked for a company for so long - a company that i have learned to hate, has really made me ill-spirited towards them. having been able to place that two week notice in was like a slap back in their face. i know they'll be losing a real valuable employee to their workforce, not that they gave a shit, but it's there loss and not mines. i have gained a lot of experience from this company. i cant say it any better than robert x..." you were just buying time here...not wasting it...you were able to pick up some valuable skills that will get you where you eventually want to be." i was almost touched when he said that to me. this man has been working for the company for a long while now, and if ever you get to sit down with him, he really tells you how it is. he does not beat around that bush or sugar coat anything...he's very direct and to the point...the kind of man that home depot hates...but cannot afford to lose. pretty funny i think.
if all goes well, i will be starting me new job on the 10th. i cannot tell you how freaking excited i am. this is the type of job that i have seen myself doing from the get go. i'll have my own little cube, my own desk, phone, keys...security badge...the works. its so exciting. along with it, more responsibility...and i just cant wait to prove to this company what i am made of. i hope to go far with this company and possibly make it a career...move up the steps and gain seniority as i go. its a well paying job, well to my standards, the benefits are the damn greatest there is...and its monday through friday 8-5...cannot beat that! well you can if you only work a few days out of the week and have cash coming out of every crevice of your body...but who has that going on, huh bill gates?
many co-workers have heard of my departure and many of them are very happy to see me go...in a good way. i was warned by the majority that this company is not one to stay with as they do not care for the employees...which is so true i might add. they are happy to see that i finally am able to get out and away from the hell whole of which we work for day after day, hour after hour. a select few are angry of my departure because it leaves them short staffed...boo fucking hoo....get over it. i found something way better than what this company has ever had to offer me...and damnit i'd be a fool to not take this opportunity and GROW from it.
so here i am...living life one beat at a time...and at just the right time an opportunity presented itself...and here i am taking it....my life is slowly falling in sync with the rhythm and harmony life's music...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Lovely
making our rounds of saying good-bye, donna and i embraced, but before the embrace she said...come here lovely lady...or something to that effect. the main thing of that phrase is lovely lady. having been nervous as shit going there, i was eased by the end of the trip with just those words. i wasnt able to get a good feel on whether roger or donna liked me or not throughout the week long stay at their home. they are not easy people to read.....now i know where daniel gets it from. i couldnt read him for nothing even if my life depended on it.
Sunday....the week had a long long start to it....a thousand mile drive which ended up being about 16 hours. we drove through california, nevada, arizona, utah and colorado to get to a one stop light town named buena vista. its quite a small town, but not as small as most towns we saw enroute. anyhow, we left here sunday morning at 4:40....and arrived there about 9 in the evening. i slept here and there but was awake for the most part towards the end of the trip where i wished i would have slept. the switch backs up the mountain were making me and luthor feel yucky. daniel drove the entire way there...he wouldnt let me drive...something told me he wanted to prove is manly driving skills to me that day. ha...well, you proved em well babe. i was very impressed. we stopped about 5 times to gas up our little kia sportage. that car went through hell and back again. daniel picked it up nice and shinny and returned it gritty and grimmy. we arrived at the house, to discover no one was home. wasnt bad...for me at least. i felt a lil at ease...was kinda like...schwoo. shortly after unloading the car, his parents arrived. boy i tell ya, my heart started beating like there were no tomorrow. i didnt look very presentable to his parents...being that i was stuck on my ass for the better part of the day with no where to go but there. i was worried about first impressions with them...those are the ones that last the longest. anyway, daniel and his parents hugged and said hi...and then it was my turn...they hugged and said hi. shocked i was....didnt think i'd get a hug so quick from them. they were very at ease about everything. it was almost like we already met before somewhere. for the rest of the night, i was definitely on my toes. didnt really speak unless spoken to...that type of deal. we ate some home cooked meatloaf that was absolutely delish. i normally dont like meat loaf, but the woman made it so well. either that or i was just hungry. i was offered a shower...oh hell yes, i was taking one. definitely wasnt going to turn that down. having been warned that the hot water doesnt last long i was very nervous to take a shower. daniel said hot water only lasts 10 minutes. so here i was...starting to prepare for the long awaited shower...and i'm thinking ...shit...i think i only have enough time to wash my hair and soap half my body. i looked at my razor and said...fuck it....not tonite. so i got in and got out. huhm...funny thing, my shower was more than 10 min...i could have shaved my legs if i wanted it...damn it.
Monday....woke up and got ready to go sightseeing. didnt take long to see the town...a couple of hours if that. beautiful town it was...small but beautiful. took some photos here and there. nothing extravagant. we headed back a little after 12 then decided we would go and eat at sonics...had to do it. i always see the commercials and needed to conquer it. let me tell you, the food was so so. didnt like the burger, liked the tots and loved the shake. it only took us an hour to get to it and then an hour back. it was far....not worth the drive. i would have driven farther for filet mignon and lobster...but sonic was definitely not in that league. a lil disappointed but whatever...no big deal. the rest of the day was pure on chillaxing. did nothing but stay home and watch some football and sitcoms. it was great.
Tuesday....woke up and had some awesome biscuits and gravy. mmmm...were they yummy! after breakfast we started talking about the wedding. discovered that danny already had godparents in mind. didnt think he was gonna do it...but surprise...surprise he asked em over the phone. i'm pretty happy about that. he's taking an active role....great! went through the details of the wedding, shared the photographs that i had and even gave her color swatches. after discussing the wedding we decided to head out and search for a lingerie bag. unfortunately we probably went to every major store in town to discover that some people dont know what a lingerie bag is. darn it. but daniel told me that whatever i forgot we would be able to buy there. ha...so not true. i would have been assed out big time if i really needed it. that night we had a family dinner at the house. daniels brother's family came and his cousin jessica. nice people except for one....whom i wish not to name. but she's a one upper. i dont like those kinds of people. but anyway, dinner was superb. the lady can cook! some serious cooking. i was looking forward to the good food...after all danny was saying about it. was totally true. so i met most the family that night. nice people. the rest of the night was spend watching the nuggets game.
Wednesday...woke up to another scrumptious breakfast. but best of all, to some snow! we decided to do laundry. in the midst of it danny wanted to take me to chalk cliff and to st elmo...way back in the woods. beautiful scenery though. thats all there is in that area...beautiful scenery. got some great shots. got back after an hour or so...to find out his mom folded our laundry...ordinarily i wouldnt have a problem with it, but there's something about your future mom-in-law folding your intimate apparel...that i dont like. i dont mind her folding my clothes but she neednt see the kind of underwear i wear. i'm sure she was shocked, but it was a little disturbing. anyway, i got over it though...a day later. we spent the rest of the day watching mr brooks and some tv. more chillaxing.
Thursday...turkey day. we spend thanksgiving at the purple sage. it was a nice place to have a turkey meal. buffet style. good food. kinda miss having home cooked meal though. i was looking forward to turkey day the most cause of that, but they decided to have it elsewhere to cut down on time for preparation and dishes and all that other stuff. not a bad idea for such a huge party. after lunch we ended up at matts house for some games. i tell you, these people are gamers. they have almost every game imaginable. i'm not a huge game person, but i'm learning now that i need to be. didnt know how to play the games they had. it was horrible looking on my part. but its ok. i'll ease into it. it'll only be once a year that i'll have to do this. so i think i can manage one way or another. the rest of the night was spent watching gray's anatomy and another movie we rented.
Friday...the most exciting day by far. we headed out early to get to colorado springs where we visited and i met his grandma young. sweet old lady. i hope she's doing well. she was going into surgery the morning we left colorado for hip surgery again. before the visit we went to donna's favorite restaurant...red lobster. it was good. its always good. i wasnt impressed with what i ordered but it was eatable. after colorado springs we made our journey to denver...more specifically the pepsi center where we watched the nuggets vs timerwolves. it was a nerve racking game. they looked like they were gonna lose, but they pulled through and won. we had some awesome seats. i had a blast. i finally got my first nugget apparel...a hoodie and a hat. danny got the same. it was really neat. definately worth the long drive of a few hours...in the snow. we got in real late and hit the sack.
Saturday...we got up, showered and headed out the door to make our way back to san diego. we made it home sunday morning at 118am. danny drove 10 hours to vegas and i took over the wheel and got us home.
great trip. did a lot of relaxing...and now i can finally say, i met his parents....the wedding is still on for may. the best thing of the trip was the nugget game and the snow...the worse part of the trip is the drive up and the drive back down. i'll get used to it. we'll be making annual visits over the holidays in the years to come....thank god we dont have kids yet...that would make for a really long trip.
Sunday....the week had a long long start to it....a thousand mile drive which ended up being about 16 hours. we drove through california, nevada, arizona, utah and colorado to get to a one stop light town named buena vista. its quite a small town, but not as small as most towns we saw enroute. anyhow, we left here sunday morning at 4:40....and arrived there about 9 in the evening. i slept here and there but was awake for the most part towards the end of the trip where i wished i would have slept. the switch backs up the mountain were making me and luthor feel yucky. daniel drove the entire way there...he wouldnt let me drive...something told me he wanted to prove is manly driving skills to me that day. ha...well, you proved em well babe. i was very impressed. we stopped about 5 times to gas up our little kia sportage. that car went through hell and back again. daniel picked it up nice and shinny and returned it gritty and grimmy. we arrived at the house, to discover no one was home. wasnt bad...for me at least. i felt a lil at ease...was kinda like...schwoo. shortly after unloading the car, his parents arrived. boy i tell ya, my heart started beating like there were no tomorrow. i didnt look very presentable to his parents...being that i was stuck on my ass for the better part of the day with no where to go but there. i was worried about first impressions with them...those are the ones that last the longest. anyway, daniel and his parents hugged and said hi...and then it was my turn...they hugged and said hi. shocked i was....didnt think i'd get a hug so quick from them. they were very at ease about everything. it was almost like we already met before somewhere. for the rest of the night, i was definitely on my toes. didnt really speak unless spoken to...that type of deal. we ate some home cooked meatloaf that was absolutely delish. i normally dont like meat loaf, but the woman made it so well. either that or i was just hungry. i was offered a shower...oh hell yes, i was taking one. definitely wasnt going to turn that down. having been warned that the hot water doesnt last long i was very nervous to take a shower. daniel said hot water only lasts 10 minutes. so here i was...starting to prepare for the long awaited shower...and i'm thinking ...shit...i think i only have enough time to wash my hair and soap half my body. i looked at my razor and said...fuck it....not tonite. so i got in and got out. huhm...funny thing, my shower was more than 10 min...i could have shaved my legs if i wanted it...damn it.
Monday....woke up and got ready to go sightseeing. didnt take long to see the town...a couple of hours if that. beautiful town it was...small but beautiful. took some photos here and there. nothing extravagant. we headed back a little after 12 then decided we would go and eat at sonics...had to do it. i always see the commercials and needed to conquer it. let me tell you, the food was so so. didnt like the burger, liked the tots and loved the shake. it only took us an hour to get to it and then an hour back. it was far....not worth the drive. i would have driven farther for filet mignon and lobster...but sonic was definitely not in that league. a lil disappointed but whatever...no big deal. the rest of the day was pure on chillaxing. did nothing but stay home and watch some football and sitcoms. it was great.
Tuesday....woke up and had some awesome biscuits and gravy. mmmm...were they yummy! after breakfast we started talking about the wedding. discovered that danny already had godparents in mind. didnt think he was gonna do it...but surprise...surprise he asked em over the phone. i'm pretty happy about that. he's taking an active role....great! went through the details of the wedding, shared the photographs that i had and even gave her color swatches. after discussing the wedding we decided to head out and search for a lingerie bag. unfortunately we probably went to every major store in town to discover that some people dont know what a lingerie bag is. darn it. but daniel told me that whatever i forgot we would be able to buy there. ha...so not true. i would have been assed out big time if i really needed it. that night we had a family dinner at the house. daniels brother's family came and his cousin jessica. nice people except for one....whom i wish not to name. but she's a one upper. i dont like those kinds of people. but anyway, dinner was superb. the lady can cook! some serious cooking. i was looking forward to the good food...after all danny was saying about it. was totally true. so i met most the family that night. nice people. the rest of the night was spend watching the nuggets game.
Wednesday...woke up to another scrumptious breakfast. but best of all, to some snow! we decided to do laundry. in the midst of it danny wanted to take me to chalk cliff and to st elmo...way back in the woods. beautiful scenery though. thats all there is in that area...beautiful scenery. got some great shots. got back after an hour or so...to find out his mom folded our laundry...ordinarily i wouldnt have a problem with it, but there's something about your future mom-in-law folding your intimate apparel...that i dont like. i dont mind her folding my clothes but she neednt see the kind of underwear i wear. i'm sure she was shocked, but it was a little disturbing. anyway, i got over it though...a day later. we spent the rest of the day watching mr brooks and some tv. more chillaxing.
Thursday...turkey day. we spend thanksgiving at the purple sage. it was a nice place to have a turkey meal. buffet style. good food. kinda miss having home cooked meal though. i was looking forward to turkey day the most cause of that, but they decided to have it elsewhere to cut down on time for preparation and dishes and all that other stuff. not a bad idea for such a huge party. after lunch we ended up at matts house for some games. i tell you, these people are gamers. they have almost every game imaginable. i'm not a huge game person, but i'm learning now that i need to be. didnt know how to play the games they had. it was horrible looking on my part. but its ok. i'll ease into it. it'll only be once a year that i'll have to do this. so i think i can manage one way or another. the rest of the night was spent watching gray's anatomy and another movie we rented.
Friday...the most exciting day by far. we headed out early to get to colorado springs where we visited and i met his grandma young. sweet old lady. i hope she's doing well. she was going into surgery the morning we left colorado for hip surgery again. before the visit we went to donna's favorite restaurant...red lobster. it was good. its always good. i wasnt impressed with what i ordered but it was eatable. after colorado springs we made our journey to denver...more specifically the pepsi center where we watched the nuggets vs timerwolves. it was a nerve racking game. they looked like they were gonna lose, but they pulled through and won. we had some awesome seats. i had a blast. i finally got my first nugget apparel...a hoodie and a hat. danny got the same. it was really neat. definately worth the long drive of a few hours...in the snow. we got in real late and hit the sack.
Saturday...we got up, showered and headed out the door to make our way back to san diego. we made it home sunday morning at 118am. danny drove 10 hours to vegas and i took over the wheel and got us home.
great trip. did a lot of relaxing...and now i can finally say, i met his parents....the wedding is still on for may. the best thing of the trip was the nugget game and the snow...the worse part of the trip is the drive up and the drive back down. i'll get used to it. we'll be making annual visits over the holidays in the years to come....thank god we dont have kids yet...that would make for a really long trip.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
4.5 hours
nearly 4 and a half hours to go before we load up the car and head to colorado....to meet the parents. you betcha i am nervous as hell. i dont know why i am so nervous. maybe it has to do with these folks being daniel's parents...and that we're getting married in six months. its scary because.....well it just is damnit. i dont know how to explain it.
daniel created a diversion for us....for black friday. he booked tickets to the nuggets vs timberwolves at the pepsi center in denver at 7pm. i am so excited....and we're going with his parents...some common ground. but its a diversion, gets us out the house and into something we like doing....watching basketball. i get to see kleiza...aka...hot guys...play some ball in his home court. hopefully they kill the other team.
so it appears that we will be spending thanksgiving at his brother's house. a new house and his brother's first thanksgiving in the house...so its special to everyone. i'm excited about thanksgiving. i love turkey and all the fixin's. hopefully it'll be scrumptuous.
i dont think my family here is having a thanksgiving. i guess my sis-in-law is not doing so well, health wise. she recently had her gallbladder removed and is having a slow recovery....and being that thanksgiving is literally around the corner, i doubt they'll be fixin the traditional thanksgiving lunch. so i dont know what my family is doing. i dont think my mom is hosting it at her house, so they may just go out to dinner or do something real basic at the house. my oldest brother is already in town from arizona for the holidays, my youngest older brother is arriving back into town for the holidays and well, the second oldest is in town and the third oldest hasnt spent thanksgiving with us since he moved to the east coast. i hope he and his family have a wonderful thanksgiving.
anyway, i am all packed up except for a sweater that is in the dryer...that is still not dry yet....so i am waiting up for it. danny is passed out on the couch and luthor...he's already in bed waiting for us. he thinks he's gonna be left behind again...but he's in for a surprise....cause he's coming with us and dont even know it.
anyway, i better get the rest of the odds and ends together...and get to sleep. with me luck with meeting them -in-laws....i'll need....
daniel created a diversion for us....for black friday. he booked tickets to the nuggets vs timberwolves at the pepsi center in denver at 7pm. i am so excited....and we're going with his parents...some common ground. but its a diversion, gets us out the house and into something we like doing....watching basketball. i get to see kleiza...aka...hot guys...play some ball in his home court. hopefully they kill the other team.
so it appears that we will be spending thanksgiving at his brother's house. a new house and his brother's first thanksgiving in the house...so its special to everyone. i'm excited about thanksgiving. i love turkey and all the fixin's. hopefully it'll be scrumptuous.
i dont think my family here is having a thanksgiving. i guess my sis-in-law is not doing so well, health wise. she recently had her gallbladder removed and is having a slow recovery....and being that thanksgiving is literally around the corner, i doubt they'll be fixin the traditional thanksgiving lunch. so i dont know what my family is doing. i dont think my mom is hosting it at her house, so they may just go out to dinner or do something real basic at the house. my oldest brother is already in town from arizona for the holidays, my youngest older brother is arriving back into town for the holidays and well, the second oldest is in town and the third oldest hasnt spent thanksgiving with us since he moved to the east coast. i hope he and his family have a wonderful thanksgiving.
anyway, i am all packed up except for a sweater that is in the dryer...that is still not dry yet....so i am waiting up for it. danny is passed out on the couch and luthor...he's already in bed waiting for us. he thinks he's gonna be left behind again...but he's in for a surprise....cause he's coming with us and dont even know it.
anyway, i better get the rest of the odds and ends together...and get to sleep. with me luck with meeting them -in-laws....i'll need....
Friday, November 16, 2007
1 day
today is finally friday...schwoo...finally! vacation officially begins....but it brings me closer to sunday and closer to meeting the --in-laws..... yep you got it, nervousness creeping back in me. maybe i'll fall asleep on the ride over and just not have to think about it..and awaken when we are finally there then be in a stupor from the sleep. ha. ya right. i'll probably be up 80% of the way...just maybe danny will let me do some driving. but who knows.
i've got some religious obligation to tend to tonight and the better part of tomorrow then its packing time for colorado. on tuesday, while we are there, there is supposed to be a snow storm. man...that will be new to me. not sure what that is, or how it'll be...but i do know that my ass will be inside next to a fire if not bundled up in blankets. me and the cold dont do very well...i think. i'm not sure...cold for me is like 65 degrees....and here i am going to a place where it dips down to 35...i may freeze to death.
but needless to say, i'm feeling excitement and nervousness at the same time. 1 day to go...
i've got some religious obligation to tend to tonight and the better part of tomorrow then its packing time for colorado. on tuesday, while we are there, there is supposed to be a snow storm. man...that will be new to me. not sure what that is, or how it'll be...but i do know that my ass will be inside next to a fire if not bundled up in blankets. me and the cold dont do very well...i think. i'm not sure...cold for me is like 65 degrees....and here i am going to a place where it dips down to 35...i may freeze to death.
but needless to say, i'm feeling excitement and nervousness at the same time. 1 day to go...
Thursday, November 15, 2007
nervous
tomorrow is my 7th day working...and man, i am feeling it. today dragged all day...no customers to tend to, nor any problems. its was a nice day, but a very boring one. i cant even tell you what i did today because i really didnt do anything. however, i did push in some carts and thats about it, i was actually happy to do it because i didnt have a chance to go to the gym this morning...i did a some ab work and weights at home, but not a full blown workout.
for the past few weeks now, well - ever since we got back from ireland, i've been thinking about this colorado trip. i am nervous as all hell. i've never met daniel's parents. this sunday will be my first face-to-face encounter with them. have you any idea how nerve racking this is for me. i've never really had a problem with parents, most parents i meet love me on the spot. i guess this is different, because i dont ever talk to danny's parents. i've talked each of his parents once or twice...and thats all. i've been with daniel now for a year and 7 months on the 21st.
i've gotten to the point that i dont sleep at night thinking about it. there isnt anything i want more than for them to like me. its hard when you dont get a long with your in-laws. really hard. i dont ever want to be in that position. but then again, i'll only have to see them once a year for a holiday. danny says not to worry, but of course he'll say that, they're his parents. i've just come to the conclusion that they will either hate me or love me...and i'll just have to live with what they decide.
the plan for the trip is to leave about 4am sunday morning, in hopes to get there by 9pm in the evening. we are driving straight through, stopping now and again to get something to eat, take a potty break, let luthor out, and to stretch our legs...oh and gas...how can i forget the oh so expensive gas now a days. so wish me luck, because i will be needing it for sure.
trust me when i say that i will be nervous until sunday about 9pm when we finally arrive in buena vista, colorado and the young residence.....
stay tuned for the next blog, it ought to be when i am in colorado...
for the past few weeks now, well - ever since we got back from ireland, i've been thinking about this colorado trip. i am nervous as all hell. i've never met daniel's parents. this sunday will be my first face-to-face encounter with them. have you any idea how nerve racking this is for me. i've never really had a problem with parents, most parents i meet love me on the spot. i guess this is different, because i dont ever talk to danny's parents. i've talked each of his parents once or twice...and thats all. i've been with daniel now for a year and 7 months on the 21st.
i've gotten to the point that i dont sleep at night thinking about it. there isnt anything i want more than for them to like me. its hard when you dont get a long with your in-laws. really hard. i dont ever want to be in that position. but then again, i'll only have to see them once a year for a holiday. danny says not to worry, but of course he'll say that, they're his parents. i've just come to the conclusion that they will either hate me or love me...and i'll just have to live with what they decide.
the plan for the trip is to leave about 4am sunday morning, in hopes to get there by 9pm in the evening. we are driving straight through, stopping now and again to get something to eat, take a potty break, let luthor out, and to stretch our legs...oh and gas...how can i forget the oh so expensive gas now a days. so wish me luck, because i will be needing it for sure.
trust me when i say that i will be nervous until sunday about 9pm when we finally arrive in buena vista, colorado and the young residence.....
stay tuned for the next blog, it ought to be when i am in colorado...
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Downtown
it has been a long while since dan and i have been out. well, to downtown at least. we usually frequent ocean beach, as it is a much more casual and relaxing place to be. but tonite, we've been invited to have dinner for janice's birthday at sushi ito in downtown off of f street. i think the last time we were downtown was for the padre game against the rockies back in september. it'll be a lil different this time around. dan hasnt really had a chance to really go out with any of my friends...actually we hardly ever go out with my friends...we are always meeting up with his. timing i guess is the cause of that, or maybe dan just doesnt like going out with my friends. who knows. who cares really.
so sushi ito....sushi for the second time this week. i'm surprised i'm not more excited. i love sushi. not sure why i'm not looking forward to this outing. i guess it has a lot to do with downtown. downtown really isnt my place. it was way back in the day when i was way younger, but no i have learned that i like the more laid back scene. i like a place where i can be my usual jeans and t type of wear. we'll see...maybe a new job on the horizon will change all that.
well, i best doll up now so we can hit the downtown scene. ...sushi ito here we come...oh and happy birthday janice!
so sushi ito....sushi for the second time this week. i'm surprised i'm not more excited. i love sushi. not sure why i'm not looking forward to this outing. i guess it has a lot to do with downtown. downtown really isnt my place. it was way back in the day when i was way younger, but no i have learned that i like the more laid back scene. i like a place where i can be my usual jeans and t type of wear. we'll see...maybe a new job on the horizon will change all that.
well, i best doll up now so we can hit the downtown scene. ...sushi ito here we come...oh and happy birthday janice!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Communication
topic on hand...COMMUNICATION...how does such a word fall so deeply on to the gray side of things. One phrase can mean different things to different people....and why is that? why have communication when all you're going to do is get lost in the meaning intended? the funny thing, i think, is that we need communication to maintain order. Order in society, order within a family, order within a relationship/marriage, order within the work place, and so on. Yet it is the same communication that fucks things up. its what makes people angry, its how people perceive things differently, its what makes people tick! how can this be?
here's my suggestions on the topic>>>>>
1. tone. the tone in which one says something can definitely contribute to how something is perceived, understood and taken. when one's tone is derogatory, then the one listening to it may feel they have been beaten down with words. when one is authoritative, the one listening to it may feel they are to obey and fall in line with what was said. when one's tone is complainative (yes i probably made this word up), the one listening may feel like they're listening to an endless bitch session.
2. perception. perception is yet the other key, i think, how communication falls into the gray scale. when one laughs when one is talking, it can be rude if the matter at hand is important to the speaker. the key to this -is importance of what is being said....one may think the matter is important yet the other does not. how can people tell? you cant. its simple as that. so perception in itself is gray.
3. animation. hand gestures can, usually be, a tell tale sign of the tone of the conversation. thoughtful hand gestures are usually present in a normal conversation in which both parties are enjoying the conversation. violent hand gestures usually mean that the lines of communication are urgent or confrontational. usually not a good thing. no hand gestures...well, some people just dont use them.
why am i getting into the lines of communication, you ask? because communication can be so fucked up. the ways in which i communicate arent always successful with what i am trying to get across to the other person. this usually turns into something where i've hurt someone's feelings or someone gestures back in a not so nice way and in turn hurts my feelings.
what ever happened to this phrase: you can talk to me about anything, i'm here for you. i've learned that phrase to not always be true. sometimes people say that just to be nice at the moment, but when all is said and done, and you finally break down and let loose, they put you down. not a very good feeling....then means of communication have been forfeited....cause if you're like me...i just shut down and start harboring things inside, which we all know is not always a good thing.
i've always had the problem of not speaking out what i feel, until about a year and a half ago when i went through some life altering changes. its always been a problem for me since i can remember. i usually keep my troubles, heart ache, frustrations and anger to myself. ..because of the simple fact that i dont want to burden anyone else with my troubles or have the fear of being misinterpreted by the listener. i also have learned over the years that it turns you into a ticking time bomb ready to go off at anyone at any time. but why share your thoughts and feelings when in the end all you get is laughed at or ridiculed?. why? so now, i am learning all over again, that you really cant let loose and talk to people without judgment. you just cant. because if you can, then people wouldnt be up all night thinking about events that occurred to them and how it has effected them in a manner that is bothersome.
so having tried out both outlets...i've learned now that its just better to keep things to yourself. it saves you time. it can save an argument. it can save misconception...it can save a mouthful of words wasted....
here's my suggestions on the topic>>>>>
1. tone. the tone in which one says something can definitely contribute to how something is perceived, understood and taken. when one's tone is derogatory, then the one listening to it may feel they have been beaten down with words. when one is authoritative, the one listening to it may feel they are to obey and fall in line with what was said. when one's tone is complainative (yes i probably made this word up), the one listening may feel like they're listening to an endless bitch session.
2. perception. perception is yet the other key, i think, how communication falls into the gray scale. when one laughs when one is talking, it can be rude if the matter at hand is important to the speaker. the key to this -is importance of what is being said....one may think the matter is important yet the other does not. how can people tell? you cant. its simple as that. so perception in itself is gray.
3. animation. hand gestures can, usually be, a tell tale sign of the tone of the conversation. thoughtful hand gestures are usually present in a normal conversation in which both parties are enjoying the conversation. violent hand gestures usually mean that the lines of communication are urgent or confrontational. usually not a good thing. no hand gestures...well, some people just dont use them.
why am i getting into the lines of communication, you ask? because communication can be so fucked up. the ways in which i communicate arent always successful with what i am trying to get across to the other person. this usually turns into something where i've hurt someone's feelings or someone gestures back in a not so nice way and in turn hurts my feelings.
what ever happened to this phrase: you can talk to me about anything, i'm here for you. i've learned that phrase to not always be true. sometimes people say that just to be nice at the moment, but when all is said and done, and you finally break down and let loose, they put you down. not a very good feeling....then means of communication have been forfeited....cause if you're like me...i just shut down and start harboring things inside, which we all know is not always a good thing.
i've always had the problem of not speaking out what i feel, until about a year and a half ago when i went through some life altering changes. its always been a problem for me since i can remember. i usually keep my troubles, heart ache, frustrations and anger to myself. ..because of the simple fact that i dont want to burden anyone else with my troubles or have the fear of being misinterpreted by the listener. i also have learned over the years that it turns you into a ticking time bomb ready to go off at anyone at any time. but why share your thoughts and feelings when in the end all you get is laughed at or ridiculed?. why? so now, i am learning all over again, that you really cant let loose and talk to people without judgment. you just cant. because if you can, then people wouldnt be up all night thinking about events that occurred to them and how it has effected them in a manner that is bothersome.
so having tried out both outlets...i've learned now that its just better to keep things to yourself. it saves you time. it can save an argument. it can save misconception...it can save a mouthful of words wasted....
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Preparations
the month of november has finally arrived...which marks 6 months before the wedding. the planning is in full swing, more so than ever before. i have been able to get a lot of things done. my to-do-list is getting shorter and shorter...thank GOD. i never thought i would see the light at the end of this tunnel. planning a wedding by yourself is f-ing difficult. i dont recommend it to anyone...so all you young boys and gals, start saving for a wedding planner...cause them bitches are expensive. to date...i only have to pick out invitations and tuxedos...and minor odds and ends that wont take long.
this thursday i am taking my girls in to get fitted for their dresses...and that in itself will be a huge relief, cause that means that the tuxedos will be next. however, i need to get on danny about making time to go pick out invites soon. the boy lags sometimes. i cant wait till all this planning is done and over with. seriously! i dont understand how people can do this for a living...but i guess if the price is right then all else doesnt really matter.
this month, i have another huge event happening in my life. i will, for the first time, be meeting my future in-laws. man that has a weird ring to it. i've only talked to donna twice and roger once. we are spending about 5 whole days over there. i just hope that things go well. i know that the wedding may be an issue with it being catholic and large. i just dont want to have to feel that i have to defend my ways when i get to colorado. there's a part of me thats already building that wall of defense...why? i'm not sure. i guess its because i dont know what to expect. i do know that this trip will probably not be hunky dory as most trips. there's a dominant feeling of nervousness and uneasiness that lingers within me. i hope for my sake, that i'm just over reacting.
i guess in a sense, i dont have that excited feel with the wedding as i thought i would have. dont get me wrong, but theres a bone or two in my body thats excited...and well...the other bones...arent really...they dont know what to feel. it seems, sometimes, that its a waste of time and just a hassle with everyone. one family wants large, the other family wants small. one family is religious, the other is not. i wonder if this will cause major problems between the families as the wedding approaches and even later down the line in the future. i dont have answers to that, and thats probably what scares me the most.
back to thanksgiving...this is my first thanksgiving with danny's family. so it will be fun to see what his family does for thanksgiving. i hear that card games are a biggie. i hope all goes well. i know he's really excited to go home for thanksgiving. he's excited to see family again and to just soak in the mountain scape that he grew up with. it'll be nice to see him relax in his own mountain man world. he needs a breather...i hope this trip will relax him.
this thursday i am taking my girls in to get fitted for their dresses...and that in itself will be a huge relief, cause that means that the tuxedos will be next. however, i need to get on danny about making time to go pick out invites soon. the boy lags sometimes. i cant wait till all this planning is done and over with. seriously! i dont understand how people can do this for a living...but i guess if the price is right then all else doesnt really matter.
this month, i have another huge event happening in my life. i will, for the first time, be meeting my future in-laws. man that has a weird ring to it. i've only talked to donna twice and roger once. we are spending about 5 whole days over there. i just hope that things go well. i know that the wedding may be an issue with it being catholic and large. i just dont want to have to feel that i have to defend my ways when i get to colorado. there's a part of me thats already building that wall of defense...why? i'm not sure. i guess its because i dont know what to expect. i do know that this trip will probably not be hunky dory as most trips. there's a dominant feeling of nervousness and uneasiness that lingers within me. i hope for my sake, that i'm just over reacting.
i guess in a sense, i dont have that excited feel with the wedding as i thought i would have. dont get me wrong, but theres a bone or two in my body thats excited...and well...the other bones...arent really...they dont know what to feel. it seems, sometimes, that its a waste of time and just a hassle with everyone. one family wants large, the other family wants small. one family is religious, the other is not. i wonder if this will cause major problems between the families as the wedding approaches and even later down the line in the future. i dont have answers to that, and thats probably what scares me the most.
back to thanksgiving...this is my first thanksgiving with danny's family. so it will be fun to see what his family does for thanksgiving. i hear that card games are a biggie. i hope all goes well. i know he's really excited to go home for thanksgiving. he's excited to see family again and to just soak in the mountain scape that he grew up with. it'll be nice to see him relax in his own mountain man world. he needs a breather...i hope this trip will relax him.
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