41 of 52 of 2022

It was a little bit of a busy week.  Tyler had his fall pictures taken on Thursday.  He wore one of Lolo's old shirts we found at the house. Surprisingly it fit him...barely.  It's hard to imagine that Tyler fits my dad's clothes...he's only 12. He's going to be a big boy like his dad.

Up next was a busy Saturday.  Tyler spent the day and night at his buddy Neil's house. They had a pumpkin carving contest. He carved the batman logo.  This is the first time Tyler has spent hanging with his friends since before covid. We are a bit nervous because we're still afraid he may catch it but we are fortunate that he's been vaccinated and boosted.  

While Tyler spent the day with his friends, we took advantage of having sushi for dinner.  We saw Mike at Thai Thai restaurant formerly known as Oishi restaurant. We are glad he is back. He's one of the best sushi chefs we've had.  The prices were pretty steep but it was totally worth it.  Hannah even tasted some of the sushi rolls we ordered. 

I sure miss being able to be home to spend time with the family though. 

40 of 52 of 2022

Today I checked off house fix it item #589.  Built a new gate.  It's a bit cockeyed but it works and isn't red and falling apart. This gate took me 6 hours to build.  I bruised the tip of my left thumb and have a gnarly blood blister on the tip of the thumb pad. Dan did good with helping with measurements when I wanted to throw everything against the wall. He's always great at bring me down when I'm pissed the f off.  We need to finesse the gate so it doesn't look cockeyed. That will be for another day when I have another 24 hours of being home.  

39 of 52 of 2022

This week has been particularly challenging with mom.  She's not as responsive as I'd like her to be and it's making me think she might have a UTI.  We both are getting a covid booster on Thursday.

The picture from this week is of Tyler's perler beads that he made me.  The first one he made for me is the Starry Night and the second is of the famous Japanese wave.  When I work or am at moms and miss him I glance at these and it puts me at ease.  

38 of 52 of 2022

This week was a busy week at work. It's getting more difficult to balance work and life in the afternoons.  I want so much to spend time with the kids after I cook dinner that I am very quick to lose my patience when I have a late meeting.  Late being considered any meeting after 330p. I have mother's guilt for not being able to home. Its been like this for 18 months now. Im feeling the void and so are the kids.  Dan is also feeling the void. He didn't sign up for this when we married each other. The guilt I feel for it is intense. So intense that it's hard to cope with sometimes.  I also have employee guilt for not putting in a full day of work.  I'm short changing everything and it's really taking a toll on me.  

My kids spend Saturday night with me so we can see each other.  It's almost as if we have a separated household.  There are times I wonder if that would be better so Dan can have a wife at home who can make him happy and give him the attention he needs. Same for the kids. I know the little attention I give them is not enough.  

37 of 52 of 2022

Hannah took this picture of me and dad last Sunday when we visited him.  I think this is the first time I've taken a photo with him since he was laid to rest over 4 years ago. 

36 of 52 of 2022

Yesterday our pup pup turned 9 years old.  I remembered in the morning then forgot as the day went. I meant to buy her some whip cream and meat while we were at the store and totally forgot. Luckily Hannah made up for it by getting some snacks together as a special treat after dinner.  We sang her happy birthday. Hannah took the photo to remember the special day.  

35 of 52 of 2022

The kids started 5th and 7th grade on Wednesday.  Tyler started at a new school with no friends in his class which is a total bummer.  I'm confident he will find friends and he'll find his place in this much bigger school.  He's doing the full junior high experience with a home room and multiple room changes for subjects.  He even needs to get dresses into PE clothes and he has an elective class this year. 

Hannah got stuck with Mrs. Gilbert again this year with her friend Ella and Matthew.  I'm bummed she isn't in the same class as Rose and Charlotte. I'm confident she will do just fine this year.  Next year she will need to figure out if she will stay at Sycamore or transfer to Oaks to be with Tyler.