52 of 52 of 2022

This day 5 years ago forever changed my life and the meaning of Christmas Eve. The whole family met at the cemetery, late as per the Dulay usual form. We prayed as we do each year. This year as I lead us in prayer I broke down a bit. Today hit different for me. I truly miss him. Dan was there to comfort me and remind me that I've done everything I could for him. I continue to do everything I can for my mom too. At the end of my dad's life and my mom's, I know I'll have no regrets.

The other meaning for Christmas Eve is getting things ready for the kids tomorrow. All the presents are wrapped and hidden away. Now we wait for them to fall asleep so we can put bows on each one and put it under the tree. The looks on their faces tomorrow will be permanently etched in my heart.  

51 of 52 of 2022

This week we received some devastating news. Dan's grandma had a stroke Tuesday morning, December 13th. We learned she passed at Thursday at 11:17 pm, December 15.  

I'll carry some regret with me because we didn't make it to the family reunion this summer. We didn't go because we were not sure if one of my brothers could care for mom while we would be gone. Had I known that it would be the last time for us to see her then I would have pushed harder to go.  

We will be in Colorado for the kid's Spring Break for 2 weeks. We were really hoping to spend time with her then.  

I'll remember her as being one of the sweetest persons I know. She truly loved unconditionally. She took me in as family the moment we met. She had the most sweetest and semi wet butterfly kisses. She and I would exchange letters by mail every now and again. We will miss her.  

50 of 52 of 2022

This week I met my new team for the first time in person at the office. It was nice to see everyone in the flesh. My team is small with only 10 of us. Our team meshes well together. I had a great time but I was exhausted. I am not used to having to dress in non work out clothes and be on my best behavior for an entire day. It took me about an hour and a half to get ready and out the door. 

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This week was pretty uneventful. The kid's elves arrived this week. The first day they brought advent calendars. The 2nd day they did snowflakes. The 3rd day they hid in the workshop and tree. The 4th day they hid in their stockings. We shall see what day 5 brings. 

This coming week will be very busy with work and gift wrapping. 

48 of 52 of 2022

Thanksgiving came and went. So fast that we forgot to take photos. 

So this week we bought our Christmas tree and decorated the house the day after Thanksgiving. It's something we have done for the last 3 years now. Hopefully it's something we can do until the end of my time. 

We also decorated Lola's house. Ralph put up the Christmas lights on Thanksgiving and the kids decorated her tree yesterday. 

47 of 52 of 2022

Made it thru the week. Today is my first day back home for a few weeks. Unfortunately my throat is feeling scratchy. Hoping it doesn't turn into anything. Other than that, my heart is full, I'm happy to be home with my family. 

46 of 52 of 2022

So this week was a bit of a cluster. Tyler was sick with the flu all week. He stayed home Monday and Tuesday and was prescribed TamiFlu. He's still getting over the cough. Hopefully he will be back to himself soon. 

Something unexpected happened today with Hannah which threw me through a loop. We got her hair dyed today. Spent 3 hours of my day waiting for her. 300 bucks later she has a purple balayage. All was well until we were putting our laundry up. I was horrified about how bad her dresser drawers were and how once they were so pretty. She came back with a reply that has torn me in a way that I can't seem to get over. Her reply, "like you." It hit a nerve with me because I feel not myself, out of shape, ugly and just not confident in my skin. It really has me reeling because I feel like I need to do better with my appearance. She said she was joking but I feel in bones that she wasn't. Perhaps her friend's mom's are put together better than me and she's ashamed of how I look. That's the only deduction I can make. I guess I should start doing better with my appearance. 

45 of 52 of 2022

So this week was a bit of a Whirlwind. With Ralph being home I was able to be home with my family and kids. It was nice to be home and just be around. I could tell that Dan and the kids enjoyed my presence. And Sophie too!

Dan and I both took Friday with the idea that we would be able to spend some much needed time together. It ended up being a very busy day. We started the morning with Hannah receiving a PAWS award for respect. We got rid of both treadmills and the best part is we dumped it for free. Dan found a place in El Cajon that would take it. Afterwards we ate a Junction 52 and enjoyed some good eats and each others company. We went back home to recycle all the cans and bottles in the garage for a little under a 100 bucks. Once we got back we did some laundry and put together my maxi climber workout machine. By the time all was said and done, Dan had to pick Tyler up for his 3pm orthodontist appointment. I 

got on my new machine for 10 minutes instead of running at the gym. I'm still 

sore from those 10 minutes. Oh and Hannah did her first floral design class then got her covid booster. We are all 

fully boosted now. Unfortunately 

Ralph left early Saturday morning so I'm back at moms house until Saturday when Jim arrives for the night.  

44 of 52 of 2022

Today we celebrated mom's 83rd birthday. It was nice to see the grandkids. It was the first time in a year since Jackie visited mom. 

Today actually started off quite horribly. Mom didn't want to wake up and get the day started. She turned it into the 

usual complaints that she doesn't want to live because she has nothing to live for anymore. She 

said she wants us to put her in a home so she could die. I take great offense to this because 

I have been sacrificing time with my family since April 2021. I've ppractically moved in with her. Ralph hasn't been consistent with coming out every month so it's been even harder. At the end of the 

day I've come to the end of my rope and it will be a matter of time before I lose my shit. 

43 of 52 of 2022

So last Saturday we went to the fall carnival. The kids has a great time with their friends. Hannah hung out with her gal pals and Tyler got to see his buddy Gavin who moved to Ramona.  We also won an LOL basket from the raffle.  

This week was another crazy week.  Hannah was so tired on Friday that she passed out while we were out getting dinner.  

42 of 52 of 2022

This was another busy week for our Mighty Young family. Hannah had fall pictures on Thursday. I got a full panel of blood work to hopefully figure out whats going ok with my eczema.  I asked Jim to come down so I can fix the chimney cap cause it was seriously falling a Parr.  I even put up 2 more Halloween inflatables to complete our decorating.  We got a weenie dog and a ghost.  Lastly we attended the fall carnival at Hannah's school.  First one in since covid hit us.  It was a very busy week but glad I'm able to hang out with the family where it counts the most for them.  End of year festivities are in full swing.  

41 of 52 of 2022

It was a little bit of a busy week.  Tyler had his fall pictures taken on Thursday.  He wore one of Lolo's old shirts we found at the house. Surprisingly it fit him...barely.  It's hard to imagine that Tyler fits my dad's clothes...he's only 12. He's going to be a big boy like his dad.

Up next was a busy Saturday.  Tyler spent the day and night at his buddy Neil's house. They had a pumpkin carving contest. He carved the batman logo.  This is the first time Tyler has spent hanging with his friends since before covid. We are a bit nervous because we're still afraid he may catch it but we are fortunate that he's been vaccinated and boosted.  

While Tyler spent the day with his friends, we took advantage of having sushi for dinner.  We saw Mike at Thai Thai restaurant formerly known as Oishi restaurant. We are glad he is back. He's one of the best sushi chefs we've had.  The prices were pretty steep but it was totally worth it.  Hannah even tasted some of the sushi rolls we ordered. 

I sure miss being able to be home to spend time with the family though. 

40 of 52 of 2022

Today I checked off house fix it item #589.  Built a new gate.  It's a bit cockeyed but it works and isn't red and falling apart. This gate took me 6 hours to build.  I bruised the tip of my left thumb and have a gnarly blood blister on the tip of the thumb pad. Dan did good with helping with measurements when I wanted to throw everything against the wall. He's always great at bring me down when I'm pissed the f off.  We need to finesse the gate so it doesn't look cockeyed. That will be for another day when I have another 24 hours of being home.  

39 of 52 of 2022

This week has been particularly challenging with mom.  She's not as responsive as I'd like her to be and it's making me think she might have a UTI.  We both are getting a covid booster on Thursday.

The picture from this week is of Tyler's perler beads that he made me.  The first one he made for me is the Starry Night and the second is of the famous Japanese wave.  When I work or am at moms and miss him I glance at these and it puts me at ease.  

38 of 52 of 2022

This week was a busy week at work. It's getting more difficult to balance work and life in the afternoons.  I want so much to spend time with the kids after I cook dinner that I am very quick to lose my patience when I have a late meeting.  Late being considered any meeting after 330p. I have mother's guilt for not being able to home. Its been like this for 18 months now. Im feeling the void and so are the kids.  Dan is also feeling the void. He didn't sign up for this when we married each other. The guilt I feel for it is intense. So intense that it's hard to cope with sometimes.  I also have employee guilt for not putting in a full day of work.  I'm short changing everything and it's really taking a toll on me.  

My kids spend Saturday night with me so we can see each other.  It's almost as if we have a separated household.  There are times I wonder if that would be better so Dan can have a wife at home who can make him happy and give him the attention he needs. Same for the kids. I know the little attention I give them is not enough.  

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Hannah took this picture of me and dad last Sunday when we visited him.  I think this is the first time I've taken a photo with him since he was laid to rest over 4 years ago. 

36 of 52 of 2022

Yesterday our pup pup turned 9 years old.  I remembered in the morning then forgot as the day went. I meant to buy her some whip cream and meat while we were at the store and totally forgot. Luckily Hannah made up for it by getting some snacks together as a special treat after dinner.  We sang her happy birthday. Hannah took the photo to remember the special day.  

35 of 52 of 2022

The kids started 5th and 7th grade on Wednesday.  Tyler started at a new school with no friends in his class which is a total bummer.  I'm confident he will find friends and he'll find his place in this much bigger school.  He's doing the full junior high experience with a home room and multiple room changes for subjects.  He even needs to get dresses into PE clothes and he has an elective class this year. 

Hannah got stuck with Mrs. Gilbert again this year with her friend Ella and Matthew.  I'm bummed she isn't in the same class as Rose and Charlotte. I'm confident she will do just fine this year.  Next year she will need to figure out if she will stay at Sycamore or transfer to Oaks to be with Tyler.  

34 of 52 of 2022

This was the last week before the kids go back to school.  Dan and I took the week off so we could spend time with the kids.  Luckily Ralph was able to come home for 2 weeks so we could do this. We kicked off the last week of summer adventures with a trip to Los Angeles. 

We started our 3 hour road trip heading to Malibu to take in the scenery by the pier. We then headed south to Santa Monica to spend the afternoon at the pier and we ended the day at the Cheesecake Factory at 3rd street promenade. We ended the stay with breakfast at Mel's Diner which was pretty awesome. 

We came home and picked up Sophie and relaxed from all the driving we did. The following day we spent time at the Comic Con museum and the New Children's museum.  On Friday we did some back to school shopping for Tyler and some Legos. We visited Lolo then had lunch at Corvette Diner.  The kids loved the ambiance of the Diner.  

We hope the kids had a blast. We definitely made some awesome memories.  The icing on the cake was learning Tyler has more tolerance for road trips which means we could start to travel a little farther now.  

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Yesterday we coordinated to have a BBQ that turned into a picnic for Hannah and 2 of her friends, Rose and Charlotte. Tyler and Dan ended up coming too.  I'm glad Tyler came so he could get out of the house and see people 

The kids had a great time despite it being close to 100 degrees with high humidity.  I'm going to try to make this a yearly thing for Hannah.  Hopefully we can fold Tyler's friends into the mix too.