Post Evacuation

Ive been lazy to write a blog since coming back home. Its one of the most wonderful feelings to come back to the place you call home. Being at mom's house is home too, but it just aint the same anymore. In any case a lot of san diego county as been deemed safe for return except for a few areas where the fire has hit the hardest. I know most of poway was able to return yesterday except for the high valley area and rancho bernardo was given the go ahead in select areas as well. The news now is still bleak. we are hearing now of those that did not make it out alive. Im not sure how i feel about that. People were given a huge amount of time to gather belongings and to flee...however, many chose to stay. It was their choice....so was it their choice to die? I'm not sure, what if in the end they scrambled to get out but no one was around to help? is that a failure on the rescue efforts? Who knows. Needless to say, there are charred bodies showing up in certain areas. My heart goes out to all the families that has lost someone or something in the fires.

I was at work yesterday, and i came across a guy who had lost his home. This dude was in his mid twenties, gather supplies to clear away debris so as to sift through it and find what he can salvage. My heart really went out to him. Its unfortunate how many homes were consumed by these fires. But to actually talk to someone who has to start from square one all over again...what do you say? nothing can console them? nothing can make things better...not immediately at least. Not only did i come across a man that lost his home...I came across a man who faulted that guy for living in that area. How horrible is that. The comment this elderly man made about the younger guy made by jaw drop to the floor. I was so amazed at how cold he was. He blamed him for living in that area and faulted him. This stems, i believe, from the not so wealthy feeling good that the wealthy lost everything. Sick fucks! In the next days and weeks, i will be seeing first hand, families coming into my work to rebuild their homes. theres nothing more i can do, but to help them find what they need.

Life around town is slowly getting back to what it once was. The chaos is slowly lifting. Soon lives will be slowly pieced back together....

all packed up...round 2

We are all packed up here at my mom's house...ready for what could be the inevitable. Daniel and I sought refuge here...and here we are again...packing the cars. This time in a greater magnitude. We have packed up most the photos...my parents only wedding portraits left, photos of our childhood, photos of the grandkids, and grandparents. The xterra is jam packed with things that are important to us; to my parents and to me. My dogs are harnessed and ready to go, the bird is in its cage and shiloh, we'll grab him on the way out.

Mt. Miguel once was just a name I identified to my high school. Now its the mountain burning in front of my parent's house. Daniel came into my room about 3am and said the ridge of the mountain is burning. I walked out and was just startled...i dont know why...i guess i didnt want to believe it. But when i seen it, my whole body trembled for a brief moment. At that moment, i woke my parents and told them to get ready for the worse case scenario...here we are 3 hours later...waiting to go. We have not had the reverse 9-1-1 call as of yet. But we know its close. Mt Miguel is practically almost all charred. The fire really has no where else to go, but to the reservoir and to the surrounding populated areas. Bonita and Sunnyside is in imminent danger. Dictionary Hill has been evacuated. The fire is coming really close...too close to comfort.

This experience this morning is more surreal than yesterday. My parents are in a frenzy, they were absolutely sure that the fire wouldn't head this way...my oh my were they taken by surprise. My dad really did not know what do...my mom packed almost everything. Nonetheless, we got everything that means something to us. The phones are on the charger and we are ready to roll.

All this has really got me stressed out. my stomach has pains and i haven't slept since noon yesterday. my ass is tired. Spuds...you need to go home and pack your shit! get all your important papers, family pics, essentials and necessities and be ready. The fire is coming right at us buddy. Why the hell are you at work? home depot can make it without us! My ass is calling in today...my family is way more important than work! Go save your sister!

In any case, as soon as the sun comes up...we'll see what kind of chance this place has. Hopefully sun up will come soon enough so we can have those air tankers in the air to save spring valley and its surrounding neighborhoods. Imagine 300,000 people have been evacuated. Where do people pick up from here? What happens next? Where will all these people go? As soon as day breaks...more valuable information will be readily available. Hopefully the winds will be more forgiving today...hopefully the fire squads from the north are just on the outskirts of town and are ready to help. I hope things begin to more forward on a positive note....

Thanks to all the firefighters who are risking their lives to save our county....may GOD bless you all.

Evacuated

A long monday as spudies would say it...a long monday since the last blog but more closely, a long monday for an evacuee. Yesterday was the precursor for the events of today. Actually, in all reality, Saturday night would be the precursor. Here's why: anytime the weatherman on any news channel indicates that there will be Santa Ana winds coming through the San Diego area, a fire always sparks. Coincidence? Who knows. Sunday, the Harris fire and the Witch Creek fires may have been the only ones burning....known to the general population. Come Monday morning, practically all of East County San Diego is in flames.

4 years ago, I was also forced to evacuate my home in the Tierrasanta area. During that time, I was living in the El Dorado Hills Apartments. I tell you that was a scare for me. I was not able to grab anything and evacuate, except for the clothes on my back and my purse. I had awaken to a glowing glaze across the skies...not knowing what it was I didnt think any thing of it. Up until my mom called and told me to tune into the news...holy shit...the fires were at Scripps Ranch, just a highway north of me. Next thing I knew, helicopters were flying over head telling everyone to evacuate. Totally surreal at the time. I got in my car and headed to my parents house. For two days I waited, until I was able to go back and survey my place...thank GOD it was untouched by flames. However, the surrounding areas were practically charred. It was one foot away from the apartment complex...one foot!

4 years later...2007...i am in the same situation again. Approximately at 3:30pm it was televised that the Scripps Ranch Area pack up and leave...a mandatory evacuation. The roads were absolutely a disaster. Cars lined up to get onto the highway. It took us seriously, 20 minutes to get onto the I15, when it would normally have taken us 5 minutes or less. This time, I was able to grab what was important and essential to us. Daniel and I left our home in hopes it will still be there tomorrow. So far, no fires in Scripps Ranch, our evacuation was just precautionary and hopefully will remain so. We hope that they will let us back into our homes tomorrow sometime. Being displaced from a place you call home, is never fun. Even when you see refuge at your parent's house...a house i grew up in. Its just not the same.

This by far is the worse fire in San Diego history...i believe it is safe to say that this has outgrown the cedar fires of 2003. The fires are all around the San Diego county. From my moms house, to the north, the Witch fire continues to burn whats in its path, to the east the Harris fire climbs through the rugged terrain making its way to populated areas, to the northeast, the Witch fire continues to be creeping all through Ramona and surrounding areas. The air is filled with smoke. The sense in the air is one of stress and worry....a sense of urgency lingers.

I pray for us all....

My monday

Today is my monday at work. i'm not too thrilled about going in today. i had a rough start to the day...the damn gardeners started really bright and early this morning cut the hedges around the window i sleep by. fuckers! dont they know people are still sleeping at 8am. after being rudely awaken, i got dressed and headed to the gym. the gym wasnt so bad except for the fat dude that decided to work out next to me. i really dont think fat people know they stink. granted its a gym, but this man was stanky before he even started. i cut my workout a lil short and did some strengthening exercises just so i can escape the must. note to self...workout 30 min earlier or later to avoid stank guy. having finished my workout, i came home to find out that them damn gardeners still arent finished doing the hedge work...what the fuck people. get your shit together...cut and move the fuck on.

moody already...just great. it'll make for a nice day at work today...not mention that i just started ragging...watch the fuck out you shit customers, its on. i've got that bad ass attitude today and i'm not afraid to use it. what are they gonna do fire me....ya fucking right, they cant afford to lose me. my work is so fucking desperate for workers right now, they dont give a rats ass what i say or do. granted they'll talk to me and say, hey no....lets try and keep it down, other wise good going. we've officially lost joel at the desk...and again we're down to 3. i seriously cant wait till ireland...them bitches are gonna be fucked with just 2 people. best part is i dont give a shit...its about time they see what kind of clusterfuck they're gonna be in. my mission after ireland...find a new job. a job that is monday through friday. i dont care much about the hours, but monday to friday is key for me.

i'm tired of not having enough danny time. for the past couple of months its been at its absolute minimum. i come home, chill for a couple of hours on the couch, then its off to bed...seriously, when we're only getting a few hours of quality time together, the work load has got to change. i almost feel i'm losing touch with him, that i dont know whats going on, that i dont know who he is. why...because i see him for a few hours, the other hours are spent in dream land apart. so that doesnt help me much. i'd like to be able to come home, have a nice dinner watch a movie together, walk the dog, laugh and live and just chill. the good old days before i was working. those were the best.

so we have a little less than 2 weeks to go before ireland. i cant wait. i need the vacation. more desperately than i thought. it'll be nice to be on your own time, ya know. be able to wake up and just mosey around a foreign town. it'll be so much fun.

the wedding has come to a slow slow slow process now. i havent done anything as of yet. i've been lazy...actually i just dont feel like dealing with it yet. it can very stressful to think about. okay it is stressful to think about.

well...happy monday to me...

blah blah blah

Where do i begin? I've been meaning to write a blog on this spot for a while now. a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. lets begin with the infamous workplace. yes, the hell hole that pays my bills. it is quite a hell hole. no one understands that until they've been drawn in and suffered what it has to offer...which is not much. this past week, i lost a friend of mine at the desk. she really was an anchor for me there because she knew just about everything and anything. which was fantastic because i can alway turn to her for help. during the down time (god forbid we have down time), we would shoot the shit. talk about how much we hated work, how management was a bunch of hyprocrits, and how our pay was so shitty. but seriously we do a lot of work, for so little pay...its almost like working in a sweatshop, minus the sewing machines and loads of shit to sew. funny thing, management asked me to take over my supervisors position. i know that i will excell at it, just because i know i'm a hard worker and i make sure things get done. but is all the stress and bullshit going to be worth it? i havent to know. afterall, it is a step up in the company. i've done nothing but move forward since i got hired. if only they paid me more...if only. but being that work is stingy with raises, i have a feeling it will not be worth it. but know deep down that i should do it for the work experience. it would look awesome on my resume...thats for sure. ahh fuck it, i'm gonna persue it for what its worth.
from the looks of things, work has really been changing in and out. they've fired a couple of people and have shifted a lot of people around. a lot of the dh's are moving around to gain experience in fields they lack so they can persue a career as an asm. good luck to you people. a shout out to yul, congrats buddy for making head cashier. thats a step up yo! if you need help or have questions dont hesitate to ask. i'm here for you.

wedding planning is definately well on its way. a lot of the planning is done. need a florist and a cake. invites will be easy. the gown i hope will be easy...and its done. not a lot to do. definately knocked out a lot in the past 2 months. which i am thankful for, cause its less shit to do later. now all we's got to do is wait till next year. ahhh.... danny has been pretty excited about things, i think. well it appears. its hard to tell with him. he doesnt show a lot of emotion about it. i guess it hasnt hit or he's keeping it in. but whatever it is, it shows every now and again. guess we'll have to see who has tears in their eyes first on the big day. dont worry honey, i'll bring a tissue for you.

the ireland trip is about 4 weeks away. we're excited kinda...it hasnt hit yet. but it will when we're driving up to LAX or when we're on that nonstop plane ride to ireland. its gonna be fun. a whole new place, brand new things to see, a different culture to experience. it'll be great. i'm gonna really need that vacation after whats going on here.

well,thats all my blabbing this time around. hopefully i'll have more exciting shit to share the next time.

random

its been a long while since i've last posted. its sad because not a lot has really happened between the last post and this here. i've been lazy is all. its the hours at work that creates the highest peak of laziness with me. apparently i was chosen somehow to do most the closing shifts at work, which i am not to fond of. i hate closing. if i'm not closing my shift ends at 8pm, which is pretty damn near closing. i am the queen of shit shifts at my work. i dont know how the others got the morning schedules favored to them and i got these. as they say, its who you side with at work that makes all the differences, and that is damn true. i'm not an ass kisser. my promotions have been truley deserved becuase of my hard work and not my ability to kiss someone's ass. eh fuck it, i have to tough it out till after the colorado trip before i can move on to bigger and better things. i cannot wait. funny thing is, there's been talk to train me as supervisor...ha....see how long that takes. i'm worried about the promotion...its almost guaranteed.

the wedding planning is going pretty smooth. i've got to book a florist, decide on a cake, shop for my dress, the tuxedos, and the invites and it'll be pretty much done. florist will be easy. cake will not be that hard. the dress will be a bitch to shop for. the tuxedos are even easier. the invites will be the cheapest. no big deal. i've got most the big stuff out of the way. the only thing we're dreading is probably the catholic classes we have to take. oh well. it'll be worth it in the end.

daniel and i are making the best out of the summer. we've been able to explore the socal beaches. its been pretty neat going to and seeing them all. each beach seems to hold a different 'feel' to it. some are family oriented while others are complete 'meat markets.' its amazing to see the differences - being that these beaches are rather close to each other.

at the end of august we've got an ireland trip set up. i think its gonna be great. its our first big trip together out of town and out of country. a whole new atmosphere awaits us. we're both excited about it. i dont think it has hit us quite yet, but it will. we'll have a lot of time to visit around the west side of the country. most importantly, we'll be able to attend mike's wedding.

this is all for now....

What the -

Today is my 6th day of work out of 9. three more damn days to go before i get a measly 2 days off...wooptie fucking doo! work has really been getting the best of me. i go to work in a bad mood, then i come home in a bad mood. what the fuck is that all about. the people i work with are cool...well a select few, the rest of them are all assholes in their own little ways. those are the people i really dont care to work with. it has come to my attention today, that i am under a lot of pressure at work. my 6 month review has passed, but is now only being issued to me soon. 4 months late...shows you how prompt and proficient my work is. i realized today, why there is such a high turnover rate at my work. the reason being is because people are not being appreciated and rewarded. i'm not asking for a monetary raise, though that would be absolutely wonderful, but i'm talking more like...a pat on the back, an acknowledgement that you did something good, an award, or even a pin to place on your apron. we lack that at my work. we lack positive energy. the only positive energy being thrown around are by fellow co-workers, whose opinions, i might add, do not count towards your overall performance when it comes to reviews.

one of my co-workers today, julius, came in to talk to the store manager...ha good luck on that buddy...to see if he can get a raise. this boy has kept his end of the bargain. does what he is asked and then some...and he asked for a raise. the manager simply told him, make a statement as to why you earn a raise, come the next round table meeting, we'll discuss it and make a decision. seriously, hard work on the floor is not enough? meeting sales goals is not enough? damn....what more? i simply do not understand. i think the reason behind the written statement is because the store manager himself does not even know the progress of his own employees...which is sad. you have to make your employees happy or atleast meet in the middle in order to gain some kind of compliance from the. but here at hell depot, that doesnt matter. we're all work-aholics...really we are. when do we ever really get to take a break? when do we ever really get to have a lunch? when? you're always doing something for the company...always. oh, and here's a note...the raise julius will probably get will be somewhere between a penny and fifty cents. rarely do they give out 50 cent raises. only the lucky receive those....or serious ass kissers. which there are many at my work...we all know who you are.

i have really considered quitting my job...only problem, i need to have an income. i have bills to pay for. its not all fun and games anymore. again the job hunting begins all over again. job hunting is always on for me. i just havent really pushed for anything. i'm too tired at times to even look, my time at work is very tiresome. i find myself completely drained...even on my days off. why is that? i think its because i hate my job...i hate where i work. i hate the hours i work, the inconsistency, the lame ass excuses, the fucked up management, the audits, the lecturing, the yelling from customers and management, its just really all not worth it, and yet i still wake every morning and manage to head on over to work, just to bare it all over again. never ending cycle i guess. maybe manpower has something more to offer, or even trader joes can help me out...hell people have moved on to costco and lowes...why the fuck not? they seem a lot happier.

to top things off, i have the stress of planning a wedding. the endless calls, the endless canvasing, the endless thoughts of how much its gonna cost...all that drains me. almost makes me want to go to vegas. but as i just heard, its too late, we're committed to have a wedding here now. the deposit was made on the reception venue...there's no turning back now. or else we lose $4k...something daniel will not be happy about...or me. it just seems that the planning is getting worse and worse because the expenses keep rising. why does it have to be so expensive? dont answer that...i already know. ah fuck it, 11 months more to go, then it'll all be over....and hopefully life as i knew it will get back on track. hopefully before then i'll have a new job...i think that will relieve a lot of this stress. but who the hell knows nowadays.

anyway, enough bitching...time to figure out whats for dinner...btw buddy...jules stopped in and said whats up...he hasnt seen you in forever...and damnit, pick up your phone or answer back the text messages....get back to us you freak! oh and good job in garden buddy! i appreciate what you do...and i see the hard work you put it. lets find another job!