Its 2026, the year of the horse. 2025 was the year of the snake where you're supposed to shed the bad stuff in your life. 2026 is the year you're supposed to leap into what you want your life to be.
I had high hopes that this was going to be a good year. With all my parents stuff behind me, I have my life to look forward to living.
But God was I so wrong. We spent New Years Eve at one of Dan's favorite spots, OB Noodle House Bar 1502. Here he shared his favorite chicken wings, pho, fried rice and crispy noodles. We spent the evening watching the last episode of Stranger Things. I even stayed up the whole night excited for the New Year. Hannah even laid next to me before she turned in for bed.
Tyler and I watched a movie together to bring in the New Year bonding. Then the negative energy entered and hasn't left, it's now the 4th day. Hannah woke up all dressed to go to the mall only to be told we might not go cause of how bad it was raining. She threw attitude about it and there went all the good vibes. After the movie we decided to go to the mall anyway to have lunch and return a Lego set. Here begun her tears and silent treatment towards me.
Day 2 of silent treatment Dan made us talk it out to which I explained how I struggled being away from the family for 5 years and now I'm back and I'm struggling to fit in. It just breaks my heart. I thought contemplating suicide while caring for mom would go away but yet here I am again contemplating it because I dont fit in anymore with my family. Im exhausted from trying. So this year no more trying. I will be living lonely in my own house until I get fed up of it. Then we'll see what happens next... so much for being excited for a ln awesome year ahead. Maybe leaving them will be the best thing so they can be find their happiness again.
