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I had a 2 day work week leading up to PTO until January 2nd.  We started the week off at the cemetery to wish my parents a Merry Christmas and to acknowledge my dad's 8 year death anniversary.   Then we did Christmas at moms on Christmas Eve with Paul's family, Pauline, Che and Sophia. We ended up pulling down the driveway tarps because the winds were so bad that the top was lifting off the poles. One pole hit my car, luckily no damage.

The kids opened their Christmas Eve sacks filled with goodies and the yearly matching pajamas. 

Christmas was just us this year at home. It was super rainy. We cooked a prime rib and potatoes and feasted on it and left overs from Christmas Eve. 

Friday was also a very chill day filled with nothing but being home.  On Saturday I got almost all the brown dye cut off my hairs.  I buzzed Tyler's hair down to a 6 since he didnt want the blonde anymore.  Hannah spent the day at a friend's house. So Tyler and I took advantage and went down to watch the sunset at Crystal Pier and had Mr. Moto's for dinner.  

On Sunday I started to build Tyler's closet funko pop display case. I have the base built now I just need to build the display case.  

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It was a busy week.  I spent Tuesday in the office facilitating another meeting for a coworker who was under the weather.  Met some really great people that I'll be working with next year.   

I got myself a new tattoo to for my birthday on Thursday. Its a memorial tattoo for my parents.  I got a gardenia for my dad, orchids for my mom, sampaguitas which were my favorite flowers from my dad's garden and the Filipino sun for my roots.  

Tyler went to his first Winter Formal with a bunch of friends at SDSU.  He had a great time.  

I turned 45 on Friday. Started the day at Hannah's school with her receiving the Principal's award.  Then we went to Lowes for my bday present. Dan bought me a big daddy tool storage system. Im really excited to unwrap it and organize my tools in it.  Then they took me to Rodizio Brazilian Restaurant. It was very similar to Fogo de Chao but much closer to home.  I really enjoyed the garlic beef and pichana meat.  Would love to go back some day.  The kids did okay with it but we need to prep them the next time we go so we really get our money's worth.

Overall it was a great week.  

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This week seemed like a whirlwind but filled with drama.  Hannah and I got into a scuffle over cookies I donated to her school for the winter dance.  She was annoyed that the cookies I bought weren't the normal Oreo and Chips Ahoy flavors nor were they nut allergy friendly.    I bought seasonal flavors I thought the kids would enjoy. There was no note on the donation form to only buy normal flavor nor was there a note about it needing to be nut allergy friendly.  Needless to say, she got an attitude with me and I developed one back and told her there's no winning with her.  

Its the outbursts like these that make me question what type of relationship we will have as she ages or if we'll have one at all because it feels no matter what I do it's wrong and will always be wrong.  So from my pov what's the point of trying when she will turn it around on me and make me feel like shit for doing what I feel is something nice. 

We didn't speak all week.  I refused to speak to her or extend an olive branch for how horrible she handled the situation and how she treated me.  It wasn't until Saturday night as I was in bed ready to close the day out that she apologized.  The worse part is, it didnt sound genuine. It felt very scripted as if to check the box off so I wouldn't keep her from going to Zoeys birthday gathering on Sunday. The air between us still very cold and I imagine it will be for some time.  What a way to start my birthday week celebrations when this time of year is already tough from missing my parents during the holiday season. Something I feel my kids and husband dont care about what im feeling nor going through.  So now I do what I always do, smile and hide my feelings and pretend all is well until I can't bare it anymore and I burst. Who knows what that will cost me in the future.  But at this point I just dont care anymore. 

The only thing im looking forward to this week is getting my tattoo that I've been wanting for several years now. Its a tribute to my parents, my roots and my upbringing.   

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This week was pretty uneventful.  We started Christmas shopping for each other. The kids worked together to figure out what theyre getting for each other and so far its been pleasant. 

I have a lot of presents to wrap and get under the tree.