Work life was okay. I did my first big presentation for the CO and GA deployment. I nailed it as I thought I would. I have 2 more big ones coming up this week.
Home life was very challenging. Mom has been sick since Jim visited the last week of February. She has pneumonia and a UTI. It's been extremely difficult because she has been voiding in her diaper. On top of that she's had quite a few blow outs. I've yelled at her almost every day for the last 2 weeks it feels like. I know she can't help what she's doing but she's the only one around to take it out on.
I even told Dan and the kids that I've thought about filing for divorce because I'm never home and they'd be better off without me. It will give Dan a chance to find a wife who he can love and be loved and be present with. The way we are living is not normal for a married couple nor family. I also told them that I've been contemplating killing myself. I feel like I'm stuck and things go from bad to worse and there's no end in sight. I have no hope that things Will improve anytime soon. I need to hire a caretaker for mom before I completely lose my shit.
