This week was a busy week at work. It's getting more difficult to balance work and life in the afternoons. I want so much to spend time with the kids after I cook dinner that I am very quick to lose my patience when I have a late meeting. Late being considered any meeting after 330p. I have mother's guilt for not being able to home. Its been like this for 18 months now. Im feeling the void and so are the kids. Dan is also feeling the void. He didn't sign up for this when we married each other. The guilt I feel for it is intense. So intense that it's hard to cope with sometimes. I also have employee guilt for not putting in a full day of work. I'm short changing everything and it's really taking a toll on me.
My kids spend Saturday night with me so we can see each other. It's almost as if we have a separated household. There are times I wonder if that would be better so Dan can have a wife at home who can make him happy and give him the attention he needs. Same for the kids. I know the little attention I give them is not enough.
