52 of 52 of 2022

This day 5 years ago forever changed my life and the meaning of Christmas Eve. The whole family met at the cemetery, late as per the Dulay usual form. We prayed as we do each year. This year as I lead us in prayer I broke down a bit. Today hit different for me. I truly miss him. Dan was there to comfort me and remind me that I've done everything I could for him. I continue to do everything I can for my mom too. At the end of my dad's life and my mom's, I know I'll have no regrets.

The other meaning for Christmas Eve is getting things ready for the kids tomorrow. All the presents are wrapped and hidden away. Now we wait for them to fall asleep so we can put bows on each one and put it under the tree. The looks on their faces tomorrow will be permanently etched in my heart.  

51 of 52 of 2022

This week we received some devastating news. Dan's grandma had a stroke Tuesday morning, December 13th. We learned she passed at Thursday at 11:17 pm, December 15.  

I'll carry some regret with me because we didn't make it to the family reunion this summer. We didn't go because we were not sure if one of my brothers could care for mom while we would be gone. Had I known that it would be the last time for us to see her then I would have pushed harder to go.  

We will be in Colorado for the kid's Spring Break for 2 weeks. We were really hoping to spend time with her then.  

I'll remember her as being one of the sweetest persons I know. She truly loved unconditionally. She took me in as family the moment we met. She had the most sweetest and semi wet butterfly kisses. She and I would exchange letters by mail every now and again. We will miss her.  

50 of 52 of 2022

This week I met my new team for the first time in person at the office. It was nice to see everyone in the flesh. My team is small with only 10 of us. Our team meshes well together. I had a great time but I was exhausted. I am not used to having to dress in non work out clothes and be on my best behavior for an entire day. It took me about an hour and a half to get ready and out the door. 

49 of 52 of 2022

This week was pretty uneventful. The kid's elves arrived this week. The first day they brought advent calendars. The 2nd day they did snowflakes. The 3rd day they hid in the workshop and tree. The 4th day they hid in their stockings. We shall see what day 5 brings. 

This coming week will be very busy with work and gift wrapping. 

48 of 52 of 2022

Thanksgiving came and went. So fast that we forgot to take photos. 

So this week we bought our Christmas tree and decorated the house the day after Thanksgiving. It's something we have done for the last 3 years now. Hopefully it's something we can do until the end of my time. 

We also decorated Lola's house. Ralph put up the Christmas lights on Thanksgiving and the kids decorated her tree yesterday. 

47 of 52 of 2022

Made it thru the week. Today is my first day back home for a few weeks. Unfortunately my throat is feeling scratchy. Hoping it doesn't turn into anything. Other than that, my heart is full, I'm happy to be home with my family. 

46 of 52 of 2022

So this week was a bit of a cluster. Tyler was sick with the flu all week. He stayed home Monday and Tuesday and was prescribed TamiFlu. He's still getting over the cough. Hopefully he will be back to himself soon. 

Something unexpected happened today with Hannah which threw me through a loop. We got her hair dyed today. Spent 3 hours of my day waiting for her. 300 bucks later she has a purple balayage. All was well until we were putting our laundry up. I was horrified about how bad her dresser drawers were and how once they were so pretty. She came back with a reply that has torn me in a way that I can't seem to get over. Her reply, "like you." It hit a nerve with me because I feel not myself, out of shape, ugly and just not confident in my skin. It really has me reeling because I feel like I need to do better with my appearance. She said she was joking but I feel in bones that she wasn't. Perhaps her friend's mom's are put together better than me and she's ashamed of how I look. That's the only deduction I can make. I guess I should start doing better with my appearance. 

45 of 52 of 2022

So this week was a bit of a Whirlwind. With Ralph being home I was able to be home with my family and kids. It was nice to be home and just be around. I could tell that Dan and the kids enjoyed my presence. And Sophie too!

Dan and I both took Friday with the idea that we would be able to spend some much needed time together. It ended up being a very busy day. We started the morning with Hannah receiving a PAWS award for respect. We got rid of both treadmills and the best part is we dumped it for free. Dan found a place in El Cajon that would take it. Afterwards we ate a Junction 52 and enjoyed some good eats and each others company. We went back home to recycle all the cans and bottles in the garage for a little under a 100 bucks. Once we got back we did some laundry and put together my maxi climber workout machine. By the time all was said and done, Dan had to pick Tyler up for his 3pm orthodontist appointment. I 

got on my new machine for 10 minutes instead of running at the gym. I'm still 

sore from those 10 minutes. Oh and Hannah did her first floral design class then got her covid booster. We are all 

fully boosted now. Unfortunately 

Ralph left early Saturday morning so I'm back at moms house until Saturday when Jim arrives for the night.  

44 of 52 of 2022

Today we celebrated mom's 83rd birthday. It was nice to see the grandkids. It was the first time in a year since Jackie visited mom. 

Today actually started off quite horribly. Mom didn't want to wake up and get the day started. She turned it into the 

usual complaints that she doesn't want to live because she has nothing to live for anymore. She 

said she wants us to put her in a home so she could die. I take great offense to this because 

I have been sacrificing time with my family since April 2021. I've ppractically moved in with her. Ralph hasn't been consistent with coming out every month so it's been even harder. At the end of the 

day I've come to the end of my rope and it will be a matter of time before I lose my shit. 

43 of 52 of 2022

So last Saturday we went to the fall carnival. The kids has a great time with their friends. Hannah hung out with her gal pals and Tyler got to see his buddy Gavin who moved to Ramona.  We also won an LOL basket from the raffle.  

This week was another crazy week.  Hannah was so tired on Friday that she passed out while we were out getting dinner.  

42 of 52 of 2022

This was another busy week for our Mighty Young family. Hannah had fall pictures on Thursday. I got a full panel of blood work to hopefully figure out whats going ok with my eczema.  I asked Jim to come down so I can fix the chimney cap cause it was seriously falling a Parr.  I even put up 2 more Halloween inflatables to complete our decorating.  We got a weenie dog and a ghost.  Lastly we attended the fall carnival at Hannah's school.  First one in since covid hit us.  It was a very busy week but glad I'm able to hang out with the family where it counts the most for them.  End of year festivities are in full swing.  

41 of 52 of 2022

It was a little bit of a busy week.  Tyler had his fall pictures taken on Thursday.  He wore one of Lolo's old shirts we found at the house. Surprisingly it fit him...barely.  It's hard to imagine that Tyler fits my dad's clothes...he's only 12. He's going to be a big boy like his dad.

Up next was a busy Saturday.  Tyler spent the day and night at his buddy Neil's house. They had a pumpkin carving contest. He carved the batman logo.  This is the first time Tyler has spent hanging with his friends since before covid. We are a bit nervous because we're still afraid he may catch it but we are fortunate that he's been vaccinated and boosted.  

While Tyler spent the day with his friends, we took advantage of having sushi for dinner.  We saw Mike at Thai Thai restaurant formerly known as Oishi restaurant. We are glad he is back. He's one of the best sushi chefs we've had.  The prices were pretty steep but it was totally worth it.  Hannah even tasted some of the sushi rolls we ordered. 

I sure miss being able to be home to spend time with the family though. 

40 of 52 of 2022

Today I checked off house fix it item #589.  Built a new gate.  It's a bit cockeyed but it works and isn't red and falling apart. This gate took me 6 hours to build.  I bruised the tip of my left thumb and have a gnarly blood blister on the tip of the thumb pad. Dan did good with helping with measurements when I wanted to throw everything against the wall. He's always great at bring me down when I'm pissed the f off.  We need to finesse the gate so it doesn't look cockeyed. That will be for another day when I have another 24 hours of being home.  

39 of 52 of 2022

This week has been particularly challenging with mom.  She's not as responsive as I'd like her to be and it's making me think she might have a UTI.  We both are getting a covid booster on Thursday.

The picture from this week is of Tyler's perler beads that he made me.  The first one he made for me is the Starry Night and the second is of the famous Japanese wave.  When I work or am at moms and miss him I glance at these and it puts me at ease.  

38 of 52 of 2022

This week was a busy week at work. It's getting more difficult to balance work and life in the afternoons.  I want so much to spend time with the kids after I cook dinner that I am very quick to lose my patience when I have a late meeting.  Late being considered any meeting after 330p. I have mother's guilt for not being able to home. Its been like this for 18 months now. Im feeling the void and so are the kids.  Dan is also feeling the void. He didn't sign up for this when we married each other. The guilt I feel for it is intense. So intense that it's hard to cope with sometimes.  I also have employee guilt for not putting in a full day of work.  I'm short changing everything and it's really taking a toll on me.  

My kids spend Saturday night with me so we can see each other.  It's almost as if we have a separated household.  There are times I wonder if that would be better so Dan can have a wife at home who can make him happy and give him the attention he needs. Same for the kids. I know the little attention I give them is not enough.  

37 of 52 of 2022

Hannah took this picture of me and dad last Sunday when we visited him.  I think this is the first time I've taken a photo with him since he was laid to rest over 4 years ago. 

36 of 52 of 2022

Yesterday our pup pup turned 9 years old.  I remembered in the morning then forgot as the day went. I meant to buy her some whip cream and meat while we were at the store and totally forgot. Luckily Hannah made up for it by getting some snacks together as a special treat after dinner.  We sang her happy birthday. Hannah took the photo to remember the special day.  

35 of 52 of 2022

The kids started 5th and 7th grade on Wednesday.  Tyler started at a new school with no friends in his class which is a total bummer.  I'm confident he will find friends and he'll find his place in this much bigger school.  He's doing the full junior high experience with a home room and multiple room changes for subjects.  He even needs to get dresses into PE clothes and he has an elective class this year. 

Hannah got stuck with Mrs. Gilbert again this year with her friend Ella and Matthew.  I'm bummed she isn't in the same class as Rose and Charlotte. I'm confident she will do just fine this year.  Next year she will need to figure out if she will stay at Sycamore or transfer to Oaks to be with Tyler.  

34 of 52 of 2022

This was the last week before the kids go back to school.  Dan and I took the week off so we could spend time with the kids.  Luckily Ralph was able to come home for 2 weeks so we could do this. We kicked off the last week of summer adventures with a trip to Los Angeles. 

We started our 3 hour road trip heading to Malibu to take in the scenery by the pier. We then headed south to Santa Monica to spend the afternoon at the pier and we ended the day at the Cheesecake Factory at 3rd street promenade. We ended the stay with breakfast at Mel's Diner which was pretty awesome. 

We came home and picked up Sophie and relaxed from all the driving we did. The following day we spent time at the Comic Con museum and the New Children's museum.  On Friday we did some back to school shopping for Tyler and some Legos. We visited Lolo then had lunch at Corvette Diner.  The kids loved the ambiance of the Diner.  

We hope the kids had a blast. We definitely made some awesome memories.  The icing on the cake was learning Tyler has more tolerance for road trips which means we could start to travel a little farther now.  

33 of 52 of 2022

Yesterday we coordinated to have a BBQ that turned into a picnic for Hannah and 2 of her friends, Rose and Charlotte. Tyler and Dan ended up coming too.  I'm glad Tyler came so he could get out of the house and see people 

The kids had a great time despite it being close to 100 degrees with high humidity.  I'm going to try to make this a yearly thing for Hannah.  Hopefully we can fold Tyler's friends into the mix too.  

32 of 52 of 2022

Last night I witnessed the sweetest time between my kids and mom.  They were playing together. My mom thought it hilarious to play with them with her back scratcher.  She laughed so much she peed her diaper until it was soaked.  I will forever cherish this memory and so glad that I tool a video of it.  

31 of 52 of 2022

This week was another busy week. Tyler had to spend Monday and Thursday nights with the ladies because dad had to go into the office. I think he did quite well spending time with us. 

The only person missing is Sophie pup. So she's been spending some extra time with me when she cans when I'm home.  I check in on her thru the many Sophie cams we have up.  

30 of 52 of 2022

This was Tyler wrapped up summer academy.  Super proud of him for sticking through it and getting it done. He was able to meet a math teacher from his new school, Carlton Oaks.  He met a kid that's going to the same school.  I feel better knowing that he met some people at his new school. 

Hannah got a special treat to go visit Pink Rose Cafe in La Mesa with her Aunt Rhonda. It's totally right up there alley, very girly and posh.

The week ended with Ralph heading back to Arizona this morning.  As a treat, Sophie got to go bye bye to Lola's house. I won't be home for at least 3 weeks so it's the least I can do. We are all hoping Ralph comes back mid August so we can do a small family vacation up to Malibu for the night to round out the summer so the kids have something fun under their belt. 

29 of 52 of 2022

This weekend is my last weekend home until the end of October.  I am not looking forward to the next 3 months at mom's.  I'll miss a lot of firsts again with the kids starting new grades and a new school. 

Today we celebrated Jamie's 3rd birthday. The kids got to meet Kuya Danny's grand kids, Sophia and Lizzy.  It's been nice for them to meet my moms side of the family.  

28 of 52 of 2022

This week I treated the kids to activities they wanted to do. This summer my time is really limited with staying with them here at the house. I promised myself that I would do things they wanted to do this summer.  This week we saw Love and Thunder on opening day.  I also took coordinated a bowling session for Hannah and her friends.  

27 of 52 of 2022

I forgot to post this picture last week of our Father's Day dinner at board's and brews. Super casual sandwich place. 

There were a few highlights this week.   The first was being recognized at work for diving right in and hitting the ground running.  Second, Ralph arrived Friday morning and will be here for 3 weeks as planned.  Third, we finally got the kids their phones. Dan and I did a lot of adult ingredients this weekend.  

26 of 52 of 2022

This week was a rather busy one.  It's been getting more difficult to balance work and life.   There's a part of me that regrets getting a new long because I don't have a lot of flexibility right now to care for mom.  

Mom has become less and less compliant the last few days.  She has another UTI and it's been taking a toll on her mental state and her ability to be self aware. I went off on her almost every day this week because my patience has worn thinner and thinner.  

Work has been really busy with learning my new role and figuring out what the hell im supposed to be doing. 

On a brighter note this week, Hannah learned to shave her legs.   I think shaving her legs has given her some confidence in herself. She isn't ashamed of her hairy legs when she wears shorts. Her mean classmates won't have her hairy legs as an excuse to make fun of or bully her.  I'm glad we were together when she shaved her legs by herself for the first time.  

25 of 52 of 2022

Last Sunday was the first time in a very long time that we went to see dad. I want to say it's been a good 6 months at least. It's been harder and harder trying to get mom down the hill to see him. This trip, she stayed in the car and didn't come out. I parked to where she can see me and Hannah go down and put flowers and a flag at his marker.  

Tomorrow will be the 5th Father's Day in heaven for my dad.  I truly miss him -  his smile, his voice, his laughter, his encouragement and his love.  We will take mom to see him. She has no concept of time anymore so she won't know that it's Father's day - even if I tell her before we leave the house. But we will go and visit so she can be at peace for the little time that we are there with him. 

24 of 52 of 2022

Tyler graduated from 6th grade on June 7th at 5pm from Sycamore Canyon Elementary. We are so incredibly proud of him.  He will attend 7th and 8th grade at Carlton Oaks Junior High.  This is a pretty big transition for him because he will need to go from one class to another.  He will need to change into and out of PE clothes.  This will be a huge change for him and he is already anxious and stressed over it. I know he will do fine.  He will figure out his schedule and stick to it.  Because he is awesome at figuring things out and sticking to a schedule. 

23 of 52 of 2022

This week I started my new job with Project Management and Support Services - Operational Readiness Team.  

I took a portrait selfie to add it as my profile picture for my Teams and Outlook account so people know what I look like.

Hannah was also home for the better part of this week sick. It was an odd week for me.  

I'm kinda worried that I won't have as much flexibility with my time with this new gig.  I'm embracing the change and hopeful for career growth.  

22 of 52 of 2022

Today we celebrated the kids joint birthdays at moms house.  Tyler turned 12, Hannah turns 10 and Eva turned 5.  This joint party has been the the thing since last year.  It may be a thing for a long time.  

The kids enjoyed.  Mom seemed to enjoy and the family was able to spend time with each other. 

21 of 52 of 2022

On Tuesday, Dan and I celebrated 14 years of marriage.  We spent the day mostly apart since he spent the day in the office and I spent it at mom's as usual. We were supposed to share dinner together but he forgot to bring dinner home.  

It's been a wild 14 years.  The first 4 were pretty awesome with spending the most of our time together. The last 10 years has been me splitting time between him and my parents with the last year basically living apart.  

He's been so patient with the whole situation and has really stuck with better or for worse to thr best. 

Hopefully soon things will get back to normal. 

20 of 52 of 2022

My lil man turned 12 today!  We spent the day doing what he wanted.  We started off the day with breakfast from McDonald's. We watched the Doctor Strange Multiverse movie in an IMAX theater at 930a. We had lunch at one of his favorite pizza places, Mr. Moto's. We went to Tourmaline Beach for a few hours. Had Wendy's for dinner then blew out a birthday candle over a chocolate chip cookie from Crumbl and lastly opened his presents.  He had an awesome day.  He's growing too fast!

19 of 52 of 2022

Today is Mother's Day 2022. I spent the majority of the day at mom's house. I made egg and tocino croissant sandwiches. Dan and Tyler brought Popeyes chicken for lunch. Now we are back home chilling until I have to go back at 8pm. 

I made a point to take a picture of 3 generations while I can.