9 of 52 of 2021

 02.21.2021 marks 15 years since Dan and I met. Dan never misses the day and all the 21st days of the month.  He always buys me flowers. The one pictured here is one of my faves. I think these are called stargazers. I'm not fond of the smell but love how they look.  

The last 15 years haven't been the best.  As a matter of fact the last 8 years have been rough. My focus of life went from beginning and raising a family of my own to being a care taker of all things.  Of all things for my family and also my parents.  

Dan has been the most supportive husband I could ever ask for. He doesn't complain too much about having to split my time between our family and taking care of my mom every single day. He understands that I'm doing the best I can under under circumstances and reminds me it's not unnoticed. 

15 years and forever to go...

8 of 52 for 2021

Sunday was my dad's 87th birthday. It was too cold to bring mom to the cemetery to spend time with him.  Sadly, I don't think she realized that it was his birthday.  She has lost all sense of time.  She doesn't know what day of the week is or whether night time is daytime or vice versa. I know she is depressed. Frankly, i don't know how to help someone who doesn't want to be helped.  It's exhausting trying to figure it out. So,  I stopped trying to figure it out and now I'm just making sure she has food to eat and medicine available to her if she wants to take it.  Her self care is almost non existent.  She doesn't shower not brush her teeth let alone brush her hair if I'm not forcing her to do it. 

I sure miss my dad.  I also miss my mom.  She's in that body somewhere and I wish I could figure out how get her to live again. 

7 of 52 for 2021

This week was by far has been one of the busiest since last year.  I was assigned to 2 new projects at work so that means less time to spend during the day taking care of mom and other non work related items. 

A typical day for me looks like this:

515am: wake up

610am: wake kids and fix their breakfast 

620am: run 5 miles on the treadmill 

720am: 15 min row machine 

745am: pack the kid's backpacks 

800am: shower

830am: coffee time 

845am: start work

11am: kid pick and disinfect process 

1145am: leave for moms house 

12pm: make lunch for me, mom and Hannah 

1230pm: work

330pm: head home 

4pm: work

5pm: prepare dinner 

8pm: watch TV w kid's before bed

9pm: bed time 

The things I do each day are for my family. The only me time I get is my 5 mile run and row time. It's extremely rare for me to have my own downtime because I want to make sure that everyone is taken care. I hope that my kids see my hardwork and sacrifice and know that it's all for our family and their Lola.

6 of 52 for 2021

The highlight of this week was picture day for the kids.  In a non pandemic world, the kids would have taken their pictures in the fall vs the winter. We are trying to keep whatever we can as normal as possible. For pictures, we had complimenting outfits which is a normal thing for us. 

Aside from picture day, the kids put together their valentine gifts for their class. We normally give out candy but this year due to the pandemic no candy is allowed. So this year, we got mini heart stress balls and pencils with fuzzy heads. Another thing different is they couldn't address their valentine's to each of their classmates. The school will sanitize all the valentine's gifts for a few days before they're divided out for each student then bagged and sent home. It's really quite sad how things are changing for the kids and the traditions they once knew and loved.

We have hope that there will be a vaccine for kids one day...so things can get back to as close to normal as we knew before COVID19.