Well this week went quick, not just cause it was a short school and work week because of the Martin Luther holiday but because there was a lot going on.
Hannah went to 6th grade camp and survived. She seemed to really enjoy the experience. She said it was better than she expected. So that was cool to hear.
Tyler attended the Westhills showcase. He was able to walk the campus, check out some clubs and classes and hang out with some friends. He saw old classmates that left and may be attending westhills.
On the caregiving front, it's been one challenge after the next. I don't think I'll ever catch a break until she's dead. I hate the position I'm in case I'm really starting to resent her and my brothers. Strike that, I already resent them. My mental health is out the door already. I've gotten to the point where I'm contemplating divorce and suicide. It's not healthy and I know but I see no end in sight. I have no hope left. I'm literally at this moment in time living hour by hour. I truly believe in my heart that Dan and the kids will be better off without me. I'm holding them back from enjoying a normal life with a wife and mother at home. I already feel I've lost touch with who they are and who we are as a family. The 4 hours Im with them each day is a routine now. Picking up the kids and making dinner is check box task. Going grocery shopping and sitting on the couch until I have to go back to moms at 8pm on the weekend is a check box task. There's no quality time anymore. Hasn't been for quite some time. So ya, life...what life.
