Smiles

My lil man always manages to put a smile on my face no matter how hard of a day I had.  He's an emotional kid and really wears his emotions on his sleeve.  I love days when he's cuddly and all about mommy.  Though he's not talking yet at 2.5 years, he manages to express himself in other ways.  I know it will take a lot of work to get him to start talking but its something that my husband and I need to focus on before he gets too behind.  I have no doubt that he will learn to talk, it's just a matter of time and a lot of hard work and dedication on my and my husband's part.
Often times I think that maybe he would be talking by now had I decided to be a stay at home mom.  But I believe I am a better mom to him being a working mom.  I do not think it is in my DNA to be a stay at home mom.  There are times where my mind dances at the idea of being one simply to escape the stress of work.  Working makes me happy and keeps me sane.  I come from a family of hard workers.
My mom was a stay at home mom. She's an educated woman.  Put herself through school to become a mid-wife in the Philippines only to come to America to be a stay at home mom.  A decision that was not entirely hers I don't think.  I saw how unhappy my mom was at times being a stay at home mom.  I truly believe that if my mom worked, used her passion of caring and helping others as a mid wife she would be a much happier person.  I always told myself that I would strive for a place in this world.  I received a damn good education and I will make the best of it.
My dad served in the Navy, retired, then worked for the county.  He worked long hours.  We hardly saw him.  He was up and out of the house before the family even woke.  He came home, ate dinner and went to bed to do the same routine over and over again.  His hard work put food on the table, paid for school supplies for 5 kids, maintained a roof over our head, and provided just about everything he could with his pay.  I admired his hard work and dedication for his family.  I see myself doing much of  same thing.  I work to be able to provide the best I can for my family.
My brothers... they all went to college.  It was my parent's expectation for all of us to graduate college.  We met that expectation.  Now a majority of us are working full time in a career we love.
Best of all, I know that the hard work I am putting in during the week is paying off.  I am able to purchase the things my family needs and wants.  I can spoil my kids to no end.  I'm saving for their future.  The best feeling in the world is coming home to my family and seeing that they missed me and love me all the same.  The smiles I get from my son are the best...they cheer my heart and soul.

I'm back!

it has been about two and a half years since I've posted a blog.  My excuse is simply: LIFE got really busy after giving birth to my son.  What exactly got busy? That's for another blog post... ok several blog posts.   I want to say that from here on out a majority of my posts will be centered around me juggling to be a full time working mom.  I believe this venue will more or less help me unleash some frustrations from my many challenges and of course share my little triumphs.
Basically my point to you is: I'm back on blogger! Stay tuned.

39 weeks and counting

Today I am 39 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy. I do not remember a time where my body has felt so unlike my own...so many changes have occurred and will continue to occur. I remember hearing women comment that some love being pregnant while others hate it. I think I fall towards the - I don't like being pregnant crowd, but don't quite hate it. It's a sacrifice I have agreed to take in order to be a mom and Danny a dad. I do believe that having children is a gift and am very excited that I can bare my own children to create a family for Danny and me.

Throughout the pregnancy I always wondered if I will be a good enough mother to my son, if I can provide for him in ways he needs me to, if I can offer opportunities for him to grow and succeed and if I can make him happy yet discipline him to be humble. The only answer I can come up with is...time will tell. I do believe that maternal instincts kick in and will take over, and I will be ready for that. I have no doubt in my mind that Danny will be a wonderful father to our son. It makes me so happy to hear the excitement in his voice when he says "we're gonna be parents" and to see the love in his eyes when he says it to me. I couldn't have asked for a better man to marry. I am grateful and very lucky I have him beside me through this experience. I have faith that we will support each other in raising our son the best we can.

As the days progress and labor and delivery become closer and closer, the more anxious, nervous and excited I become. I will admit, that having Tyler will complete me...my life. I have everything that I have ever wanted in the world... a loving husband, a child and a sound career. I am so filled with happiness that I do not know how to show it or express it, other than thank my lucky stars.

I know the day Tyler is born will be an unforgettable one. It will be filled with so many emotions. My life - our lives will change - and all for the better. I am ready for the change. I look forward to what the future will hold.

Life is good!

jury duty

last tuesday i was summoned to jury duty...and unfortunately this time around, i didnt have any excuses to give to get myself out of it. in the past i got away with being a full time student and working for a company that really didnt give a rat's tail about jury duty, so they wouldnt pay you to do your civic duty- financial hardship.

this was the first time i had ever been called to a courtroom...the process is quite tedious and time consuming, but i had no other choice than to roll with the motions. right of the bat, i was assigned seat 7 in the panel and maintained the spot. tuesday was rather uneventful day because there was absolutely no progress made in jury selection, all 47 of us had to report back to court on wednesday.... not very many happy people. me on the other hand, possessed the whatever attitude about it. i didnt care either way.

i reported back wednesday morning at 930. about 11am they began thanking and excusing possible jurors. out of sheer boredom i prayed to the jury gods to get me out of that place. but my prayers were not answered. they dismissed us for 3 hour lunch. yep....3 hours in downtown. what the hell was i going to do with myself. what better place to waste time than the mall. so i made the short walk there and decided i wanted to go shopping. i hit up macy's but a couple items of clothing then hit the vans store and bought 2 pairs of shoes. having felt guilty after the vans store i made my way out of the mall and headed to la salsa for lunch. as i was eating, i though to myself...crap, being down here this close to the mall is dangerous for my wallet. i promised myself that if i had to come back on thursday i would not go the mall and eat nor walk around. i headed back to the courtroom and was situated in my seat. there they were through the remaining prospectives and dismissed most of them. at 345pm i was sworn in to be a juror. shit - i thought. after being dismissed i hastily made my way out of the courtroom to the hall of justice were i snagged my trolley pass and clocked out.

i was on that phone like no other trying to get a hold of my work. i swear my work place is the hardest place to get a hold of someone. well, i wasnt able to actually talk to anyone, so i left messages hoping they would get it in the morning. i notified that i was selected and the judge expects the trial to last to tuesday but will not know anything for sure until friday possibly monday. at that time, i was almost relieved i was chosen. especially after the stories i have been hearing about work...thank god i am not there working my ass off. i actually dont mind sitting on my rump for 5 hours a day listening to people talk. as a matter of fact, the whole process is quite interesting to me.

the lectures from college really are all falling into place. i'm finally able to make connections from what i've learned in college. its a relief actually, makes me happy that i didnt pay 18k for an education that seemed useless at the time.

thursday - we were instructed to report back at 10am. which i did. the morning was so damn boring...this judge talks so slow and repeats himself every other sentence it seems like. in any event the case finally started. opening arguments were presented and presentation of the evidence began......now it gets interesting.....finally.....

today i am to report to the court at 11am...yes folks, that's 11am. i'll tell you this much, i am not used to having the morning to myself. so here i am blogging...about to get into an abdominal and lower body workout from the comforts of my own home......

jury duty really aint so bad....

TGIF

finally its friday....

this week has really been a crazy week. i guess every now and again everyone gets into a slump...well, i cant quite say this is a slump...its a brought on stress...self induced. i am pretty known for this i guess. well my hubby says so at least.

the current work situation has been stressful in its own way. i am the go-to person for my sups and well they rely on me to get things done. i'm good for the job and quite reliable. I like the work they give me it really beats cleaning up other people's screw ups. but for whatever reason this week was just out right weird.

it started off weird. i was given this new report to work and had barely gotten to it because the phone calls kept coming in - one right after the other. i mean we barely had time to drink water between phone calls. i dont really mind it busy because it makes the day go by fast, but the continuous work really gets you by wednesday. and it sure got to me wednesday.

on top of the work situation...i have a reunion to plan. who woulda known i would be this responsible for a reunion. i'm not too worried about it because only a handful of people are interested in going. i plan on having progress next month on this reunion deal.

then...after that...on to planning mom's surprise 70th. i know i will have to do this myself too becuase well...the brothers arent so reliable...they are actually quite bossy...a lot of talk no walk. i just dont fly like that. so i will take the reins on this too.

see what i mean by self induced...i'm too much of a busy body to relax...hell, if i have nothing to do i get bored...so i constantly need things to do.

***sigh***

i'm just glad its friday...i need a drink or three...

a time to reflect

after hearing some tragic news today, i couldnt help but reflect on my own life.

it started with a text notifying me that one of my past managers just passed away today. mind you, this person was only 24 or 25. she was new to marriage and just gave birth to her son only a month ago. apparently she was on her way home from visiting her parents when she was struck by a car that was drag racing. the baby made it out fine but she died on the operating table.

i couldnt help but think. as spuds put it, when someone dies it usually forces you to sit and think about your life. and in truth it does...so here i am thinking...about life...

death at an early age always touches me. I have lost quite a few friends to the mercy of others, and its never fair when it happens. I know that when its your time to go then its your time to go - there's no negotiating involved. but to pass in tragedy unexpectedly...where does that leave you?

each and every day millions of people drive out on the roads...expecting that those fellow drivers expect the same from everyone else around them, but do they? there's that unspoken trust that we put in each driver. a trust that we hope is not breached from drunk driving, from those that have a need to drag race, from those that are emotionally unstable, from those that just dont give a fuck about themselves.

this person that lost her life today was quite a character. she always wanted what was best and really didnt sweat the small stuff. she was an assistant manager at such a young age, she had a lot going for her. she found her happiness in her family and friends. she was liked by many. she will be missed.

i express my deepest condolences to her family and friends...

....may you rest in peace....may perpetual light shine upon you.

New Zealand

New Zealand has come and gone. we had the greatest time in the world. we did our own touring of New Zealand and of course did honeymoon stuffs. no need to elaborate there. we were in new zealand for 12 days. each day was filled with absolutely gorgeous scenery. i mean you just couldnt believe your eyes most days. it was almost like being in a dream where everything almost seemed perfect.

dan did a great job picking the place and having everything set for when we got there. the honeymoon suite was amazing and the room at skycity was comfortable. it was what we needed to end the trip. did i mention, that there was a rainbow the last day we were there, that showed itself as we sat in the airport...it was almost magical.

in the trip, we chilaxed at the beach, walked on a privately owned volcano, walked the redwood forest, rode a gondola, luged down some tracks, zorbed and definitely sight see'd. we unfortunately were not able to swim with the dolphins as the weather just did not permit. we were really bummed about it. darn storms in the pacific.

the culture there was rather mixed. it was definitely a melting pot of many races, ages and sexes. it almost seemed like home. we didnt feel like outsiders nor stick out like a sore thumb.

the honeymoon was a success. the best part was having dan to myself for 12 days living the high life in paradise....